- Kevin Bacon - actor, rocker and Footloose guy
- Newton Minnow (as trustee)-the former chairman of the FCC
- Larry King-"Bernie Madoff...hello..."
- Sandy Koufax- famous Dodger pitcher from the 60's
- Kyra Sedgwick - actress. I see her all over, but what's she been in?
- John Denver - well, the estate of. Man, ripping off a dead guy?
- John Malkovich - scary!
- Steven Spielberg - movie genius, apparently gullible investor
- Elie Wiesel Foundation - like looting the widows and orphans fund
- A French investment bank, a French consumer bank and a French insurance company - insert your own punchline.
There's some discussion about whether Bernie is a psychopath. Hah!
Bernie's under house arrest--in his $7 million dollar Manhattan apartment. Hah!
Bernie has a 55 foot yacht on the French Riviera. Hawhnhh! (that's French for "Hah!")
Bernie has a $21 million house in Palm Beach and a 10 handicap. No more hah's. No more Bernie stuff. There is too much information to summarize, and it just gets sleazier and sleazier. But there's a happy ending: it's Friday, none of us had enough money to make Bernie want to rip us off and there was actually a bit of good in the Bernie story.
His sons turned him in.
Hah!