A Winner , A Loser

This topic is continuing to evolve. A picture is worth a thousand words, so two pictures would make it clear as to the identity of America's Team.

7 Wonders of Illinois

Over on the sidebar, there's a link to the website of an organization that is conducting a revision of the Seven Wonders of the World. The 7 Wonders are evolving again; there have been the Wonders of the Ancient World, the Wonders of the Medieval World and now the Wonders of the Modern World.

The Wonders of the Medieval World are:
>Stonehenge (just a bunch of rocks)
>Colosseum (verrrry cool building in its day)
>Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa (tombs in Alexandria, Egypt)
>Great Wall of China (inspired George Bush to wall the Mexican border)
>Porcelain Tower of Nanjing (260 feet tall, built in the 15th century, destroyed in the 19th)
>Hagia Sophia (this is the mosque at Istanbul)
>Leaning Tower of Pisa (not the one in Niles, IL)

The Wonders of the Modern World are:
>Great Wall of China (still a big hit!)
>Petra (ancient city of Jordan)
>Christ the Redeemer (the 120 foot tall statue in Rio)
>Machu Picchu
>Chichen Itza
>Roman Colosseum (also, still a hit)
>Taj Mahal /Great Pyramid (I'd leave them both in and make it 8 wonders)

The new wonders, the ones upon which the voting is being conducted, are occurrences in nature. They are wondrous wonders, indeed. All this wonderment got me to wondering if we here in the tundra aren't selling ourselves short. We have wonders, too. So, here's my Seven Wonders of Illinois:

*The Grand Canyon of 294. I am referring, of course, to the quarries of Thornton that are bisected by the Illinois tollroad. There's no extra charge to the tens of thousands who traverse the big hole every.

*The Veterans Highway Bridge. This is the 355 tollroad bridge over the Des Plaines River Valley. I have seen this when it wasn't there, I rode my bicycle on it before it was open, I've driven my car across it and I've stood under it, marveling at the tallest support posts I have ever seen. I've even seen the Discovery Channel show about it. This is a really wonderous wonder.

*Springfield. This is a little different from the others, in that "I wonder if there really is a Springfield, and if so, why".

*The Chicago Skyway. This is the most excitement you can have for two bucks, riding over the Skyway Bridge, especially if it's windy, wet, snowy, all of the above or Mrs PFOS is in the car with you. She is generally unhappy when riding over bridges. She is terrified when riding over this one. Despite her dislike, it is a verrrry cool view from up there.

*Grant Park and Lincoln Park. These are two of the best free spaces anywhere. Buckingham Fountain, the Bean, Lincoln Park Zoo, wonderful.

*The Mississippi Palisades. Metro folk don't frequently venture out to the West Coast of Illinois, but it's worth a weekend. Extremely cool vistas. I like the word "vistas".

*Pot Hole Season in Chicago. Like crabgrass, potholes return en masse every year, and the TV talking heads get all worked up about them, including my favorite term "pot holes are sprouting up everywhere". Holes are sprouting up...ok. BTW, the only natural enemy of the hole is the pile.

That's seven. I'm a little heavy on bridges. Send in your own nominations, please, to make this a more representative list. Rod's hairdo is not eligible for nomination, though "The Office of Governor of the State of Illinois" merits consideration.

On Geography

A coworker of mine just passed me a print-out of an Op-Ed from the New York Times regarding the oath flub perpetrated by Justice Roberts on Tuesday. After reading it, I thought I would post it to the blog (who doesn't love grammar, right? Right?). However, I clicked on a link next to the article called "No Snickering: That road sign means something else." The related picture showed a road sign reading 'Butt Hole Road.' Obviously, that article was far more enjoyable.

Here's the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/world/europe/23crapstone.html?_r=1&em. It may be cold and frigid in Chicago, but at least you don't live in a cold and frigid climate in a place called Crotch Crescent or Wetwang.

Also, here is the Justice Roberts article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/world/europe/23crapstone.html?_r=1&em

Geirangerfjord

I learned about this place, Geirangerfjord, after clicking through the link at the right, the New 7 Wonders of the World link. This is stuff that you might have touched on in geography class in grade school and didn't pay attention and now it's kind of cool to relearn it.

Geirangerfjord is in the southern part of Norway. It is a 9 mile long branch of the Great Fjord.

Geography class reminder: Norway is the western side of the Scandinavian peninsula; Sweden is the eastern side. Ya, Sveeden.

A fjord is a long and narrow inlet from the sea that was created by glacial movement and melt and the accompanying abrasion. Most fjords are deeper than the sea to which they are connected, and at the mouth is a sill or "terminal moraine", an accumulation of the glacier's detritus, the rock and soil that the glacier dumped at the end of its advance.

Do not despair, fellow flatlanders! Norway does not have an exclusive on this terminal moraine thing. There is a terminal moraine (but no fjord) in Marseilles, IL, in Kendall County. My vacation plans are being revised right now.

Geirangerfjord is constantly threatened by the impending collapse of the adjoining mountain, Akerneset. There is a giant crevasse, the Akernes crevasse, that has been widening at an increasing rate.

When the crevasse finally blows, there will be a landslide of 50 to 100 million cubic meters of stuff that will have ceased to be Akerneset. The landslide will cascade into the fjord and set off a tsunami 30 feet high in the fjord (yo, Lars, surf's up!) that will inundate everything its path. The inhabitants of the towns of Geiranger (population 250) and Helleslyt (population 600) will have ten minutes from that time to escape the surge of the 30 foot wall of frigid water.

The link below will take you to a Google map of Hellesylt. Zoom back, a step at a time, to get the image of how this whole fjord deal works, and how screwed the Hellesyltians are gonna be when the crevasse ruptures.

I am changing vacation plans; scratch Marseilles, IL. I want to see this place. While it's still there.
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&q=Hellesylt,+6218+Stranda,+Norway&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=50.51141,73.125&ie=UTF8&cd=1&geocode=FdFVswMd3tVoAA&split=0&z=14&iwloc=addr

* * * * * * * * *

PS:

I am posting the following photo as a public service to clear up some lingering confusion about the identity of America's Team.

Millenials

There's a new demographic in town. Make room for the Millenials. Maybe just take a step back and reassess.

The Millenials are people born between 1980 and 2000. I discovered this new (to me)demographic distinction while reading a trade magazine. The story informed me that Millenials visit restaurants 40 percent more than Baby Boomers, and restaurants need to recognize and respond to "the passing of the torch to the Millenials." There are about 75 million of them.

The article proceeds to advise that restaurateurs should do a self exam, asking if Millenials relate to the brand, how often are they attracted, how can the brand be modified to attract them without alienating others, and my favorite "What do you stand for, and will Millenials believe in it?"

Now, all of you Baby Boomers, Gen X'ers, Gen Y'ers, Me Generation, and anybody who's still around from the Pepsi Generation, don't go jumping off overpasses or cliffs or whatever's handy, some of you may make the cutoff for this new Millenial thing (except the BB's and the buzzards from the Pepsi Generation, taste that beats the others cold Pepsi pours it on, you're so screwed), worrying that you're gonna be ignored while the whole world targets its marketing machines on the Millenials to kiss their apparently highly desirable econmonic asses.

This group contains people between 8 and 28, or 29, or whatever. What the hell do they have in common? Some of 'em are kids, some of 'em already HAVE kids. The idea of "do they believe in what you stand for" is simply bullshit. Do you have what they (or anybody else with two nickels to rub together) want, and can you deliver it consistently in a manner that makes them happy? Bingo, you win.

Millenials visit restaurants 40 percent more than BB's. I must ask for a definition of "restaurant". Any crapshack that serves consumables qualifies as a restaurant. Coffee bars, McDonalds, every place with a deep fryer and a heat lamp is defined as a restaurant, and The Young Millenials (sounds like a mini-series, or a soap opera) are being fed by Mommy & Daddy's cash, and The Old Millenials (this could be the name of an Octoberfest band) are running like crazy trying to make some cash, so they're grabbing and going. The point of my testy response here is that this age group has been doing this forever, and the new title isn't a revolutionary insight into abherrent or changed behavior.

So stand down, turn off the alarms, everyone back to their comfortable, familiar demographic group and resume eating, spending and as you were. The invasion of the Millenials has failed.

* * * * * * *

\

Postscript:

Here's a hint, in case you missed yesterday's subtle clues, as to the identity of the real "America's Team".