Thursday, January 22, 2009

Millenials

There's a new demographic in town. Make room for the Millenials. Maybe just take a step back and reassess.

The Millenials are people born between 1980 and 2000. I discovered this new (to me)demographic distinction while reading a trade magazine. The story informed me that Millenials visit restaurants 40 percent more than Baby Boomers, and restaurants need to recognize and respond to "the passing of the torch to the Millenials." There are about 75 million of them.

The article proceeds to advise that restaurateurs should do a self exam, asking if Millenials relate to the brand, how often are they attracted, how can the brand be modified to attract them without alienating others, and my favorite "What do you stand for, and will Millenials believe in it?"

Now, all of you Baby Boomers, Gen X'ers, Gen Y'ers, Me Generation, and anybody who's still around from the Pepsi Generation, don't go jumping off overpasses or cliffs or whatever's handy, some of you may make the cutoff for this new Millenial thing (except the BB's and the buzzards from the Pepsi Generation, taste that beats the others cold Pepsi pours it on, you're so screwed), worrying that you're gonna be ignored while the whole world targets its marketing machines on the Millenials to kiss their apparently highly desirable econmonic asses.

This group contains people between 8 and 28, or 29, or whatever. What the hell do they have in common? Some of 'em are kids, some of 'em already HAVE kids. The idea of "do they believe in what you stand for" is simply bullshit. Do you have what they (or anybody else with two nickels to rub together) want, and can you deliver it consistently in a manner that makes them happy? Bingo, you win.
Millenials visit restaurants 40 percent more than BB's. I must ask for a definition of "restaurant". Any crapshack that serves consumables qualifies as a restaurant. Coffee bars, McDonalds, every place with a deep fryer and a heat lamp is defined as a restaurant, and The Young Millenials (sounds like a mini-series, or a soap opera) are being fed by Mommy & Daddy's cash, and The Old Millenials (this could be the name of an Octoberfest band) are running like crazy trying to make some cash, so they're grabbing and going. The point of my testy response here is that this age group has been doing this forever, and the new title isn't a revolutionary insight into abherrent or changed behavior.
So stand down, turn off the alarms, everyone back to their comfortable, familiar demographic group and resume eating, spending and as you were. The invasion of the Millenials has failed.
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Postscript:
Here's a hint, in case you missed yesterday's subtle clues, as to the identity of the real "America's Team".

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, but now what do we do with all the money slated to research this new group? Maybe we can do some research to see if we believe what the research group stands for. oh, and Sorry for not getting behind that preposition.

PURPLE FLAG ON SATURDAY said...

A prepositional self correction, and at such an early hour, Donna, you have restored my faith in humankind, at least for a few minutes!

I wonder if Millenials are any good in the grammar area?

Amy said...

Grammar is my forte. I've twice scrapped my post on proper "that vs. which" usage because I believe it will irritate more than entertain.

That said: A larger percentage of the Millenial age group is dating as compared to older age groups. Where do many dates take place? Restaurants.

Many of the people in this age group only have to worry about feeding themselves. When you consider the amount of time and money you spend cooking, eating at restaurants, while still more expensive that eating in, becomes a bit more economical.

The Millenial age group also encompasses a group of people that likely do not own their own residences. They might live with parents, with roommates, or alone, but in small and crappy rental spaces. When you want to meet friends outside of your home, where do you go? Restaurants.

In summation, one should always mistrust statistics because 90% of all statistics are misinterpreted.

Five percent of the people who read this will actually go and quote that statistic to others without realizing that I (a) made it up and (b) inserted it behind the instructions to never trust statistics.

PURPLE FLAG ON SATURDAY said...

You could sprinkle some sugar on That v Which, but it will still fall on grammatically impaired ears, and some will still refer to you as That Witch.

When does Millenial Fight Club open?