People Magazine had the hottest issue of the millenium (we don't use "millenium" much anymore, so I thought I'd give it a little exercise) with it's Clay Aiken - "Yes, I'm Gay" issue. This is an expose of one of the worst kept secrets ever. Ever since Clay swished into our collective consciousness, gaydars across the universe have been sounding off with abandon. It doesn't change the fact that he's talented and has a lot of fans, but folks are paying a lot to hear Clay tell them the obvious.It gave me the idea that we can emulate People's huge success by publishing confessions of a lot of other celebrities, having sensational tell-all's like Clay Aiken. Here are a few that come to mind.
Paris Hilton speaks out: I HAVE NO ACTUAL TALENT!!!
John Goodman speaks out: I FEEL FAT SOMETIMES!
Homer Simpson speaks out: I AM NOT A REAL PERSON!!!
1985 Bears speak out: WE HAVEN'T WON ANYTHING IN 20 YEARS!
George W. Bush speaks out: I DON'T HAVE A CLUE...WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?
LaToya Jackson speaks out: BOOB FLOP WAS NO ACCIDENT!!
Notre Dame fans admit: WE LIVE IN THE PAST!!
Tom Selleck exclusive: I'M TOO OLD TO GET HOTTIES ANYMORE!!
Rod Blagojevich interview: I HAVE PLASTIC HAIR!!
Wrigley field exposed: THERE ARE BASEBALL GAMES AT THIS TAVERN!!!
Burger King's King speaks: I'M CREEPY AND PROUD!!
Drop me a line, what revelations would you add?
