New York Amazes Again

You know about the plane splash that occurred yesterday in New York City. The pilot, Chesley Sullenberger III, has been hailed as a hero, and I think he is. The actions of the crew also were exemplary.

Nobody said anything about the other heroes.
The guys with the water taxis.

I cannot imagine that the guys who drive the water taxis (and yes, I know they are licensed commercial captains, not just some group of yahoos in bass boats) have every been told to expect to go to the rescue of an airplane in the Hudson River. But when the moment arrived, these guys were right there.

New Yorkers are amazing.

Valkyrie

Some movies are challenged beyond the norm of suspended disbelief because of their subject matter. Take the movie Titanic, for example. You know before the movie starts that the boat is going to sink, but you watch anyway, and you hope that they miss the iceberg and you hope that everything will turn out fine and you buy into the story and the performances and when the boat hits the iceberg you're shocked as if this might have been the story about that other Titanic, the one where everybody lives happily ever after. Valkyrie faces a similar challenge in the subject matter, and the challenge is broadened by The Tom Cruise Controversy.

Challenges made, challenges met; Valkyrie is a winner and Tom Cruise gives a terrific performance.

The context of the story is familiar. Germany is losing the war and dissidents band together to kill Hitler and seize control of the German government. We know how their attempt is going to turn out. The movie takes us through a series of events leading up to the kill and coup sequence and the tension steadily builds as we await the results of the attempt. There's a brief historical retrospective at the film's end about the real people upon whom the film is based.

The Tom Cruise Controversy (wouldn't that be a good name for a band?) has been bandied about in the popular press. They warn us that there were issues filming in Germany, and there were issues with the Church of Scientology, and there are issues with Top Gun Maverick playing a WWII German army colonel.

We ain't got no stinkin' issues. Tom Cruise renders an excellent performance. There are top shelf supporting actors who likewise do an excellent job.

The only problem I had with any portrayal was that of Eddie Izzard, and the problem is mine. Izzard does a great job as a German general in charge of communications at the Wolf's Lair, the Hitler version of Camp David. Eddie Izzard, if you're not familiar, portrays Doug Rich on the terrific but overlooked A&E TV series, The Riches, and Eddie is a stand up comedian. Eddie performs his standup in his choice of garb, that being the short, middle aged transvestite that he is. The first time I saw Eddie perform his stand up on HBO, I had to turn it off after just a few minutes. I had to turn it off not because his act was bad, but because I found my brain unable to grasp what I was seeing: a short, stout, middle aged man with a cockney accent, wearing knee high leather spike heels and and leather shorts and a little leather cap and make up and you get the picture. Now, take that same guy and make him a WWII German general. He does a good job, but I was distracted by the image I had that he would go home from a hard day of general-ing and put on his transvestite clothes and prance around singing "See Vot de Boiz in Ze Bokroom Vill Hav" in a Marlene Dietrich voice.

Even if you haven't seen Eddie Izzard's act, you'll love Valkyrie.

The Net, The News and the Medium

I just read a story on News Busters that suggests that the New York Times, arguably the greatest newspaper in the world, is likely to go bankrupt in the first half of 2009. When the Times emerges from bankruptcy, it won't look like it does today. It is likely that the daily printed edition of the newspaper will be gone, while the Sunday edition will survive.

The Times currently boasts about 20 million on-line readers per day, and about a million and a half print edition readers. The print edition readership numbers are steadily declining. The revenue stream created by the print edition readers is substantial on a per reader basis. The income stream created by the on-line readership is not nearly as strong.

As a result, the post-bankruptcy version of The Times will not be able to financially support the staff that has previously been supported by the print version. This means jobs will be eliminated. Writers, and the information and ideas and nuance that they convey, will go away. Content will come from co-op sources.

The New York Times, the greatest newspaper in the world, will be a commodity depository with some home grown content included to distinguish it from...USA Today?

Now, the Sunday New York Times is one of the greatest pleasures in which you can selfishly indulge. Mi esposa would buy me one from time to time, not lately though, as the paper isn't easy to find here near Stately PFOS Manor and there aren't too many empty Sundays, though winter is a great opportunity.

I don't know what the end result of the Times bankruptcy will be, and surely the people who run the great newspaper will offer something that will make it continue to be distinctive. I do know that technology has once again commodity-ized a product that we have been accustomed to enjoying in a highly customized form.

In this case there is a rather incisive irony. The internet, the medium that has advanced the dissemination of knowledge at a greater pace than anything in the history of the world, is the primary instrument forcing the reconstruction of the great newspaper, and the end result will be something less than that with which we began.

Nobody's fault, no one to blame. Less is more, sometimes, but not in this case.

Ann Coulter, Evil Genius

Unless you've been asleep for the last two weeks, you've probably noticed that Ann Coulter has been on a whirlwind publicity tour that rivals the comeback effort of Britney Spears. I was late to work last Wednesday because I couldn't get in the shower until Ms. Coulter's interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show ended. If you didn't catch it, Matt Lauer guaranteed his admission into heaven for making it through the interview without clocking Ann right in her skinny horseface. Matt Lauer was more patient than a pre-school teacher as he tried to coax Ann into rationally defending her position, only to be rewarded with her snide remarks and ridiculous generalizations that really had nothing to do with anything. For instance, she defended the fact that in her new book, Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America, she only refers to Barack Obama as "B. Hussein Obama" by stating over and over that Barack Obama has stated that he likes his middle name. Come on Ann, its pretty apparent that you aren't calling him B. Hussein Obama because you hope to lauch the name "Hussein" into the 2009 Top 10 Baby Names List (Emma and Aiden were the top names for 2008. Hussein, surprisingly, didn't make the cut). My showerhead got an earfull as I responded to each of Ann Coulter's statements one by one. I'd like to think that I only attacked Ann Coulter's offensively conservative beliefs, but I am, after all, female, so I couldn't help but throw out some insults about her orange tan, fake blonde hair, and pretty apparent eating disorder. Granted, no one heard me, but I felt better after I picked apart everything Ann said point-by-point, and I reminded myself (outloud) that Coulter is a woman who would probably throw her full weight behind Palin 2012, and let's be serious...seriously?

Soon after my tirade, I came to a harsh realization: the joke is on me. Why? Because I want to buy her book. Incredible. She didn't publish this book for conservatives--she knows the smart conservatives think she's a blowhard publicity whore, and the conservatives who would get all fired up about the President-elect's middle name are likely not the types to go out and purchase Ann's book of misunderstood statistics. She wants me to hate her so much that I can't help but run out and buy her book so I can scream and argue and dissect her beliefs one page at a time. And I'm going to do it...I just don't know how. I really can't march into my neighborhood Borders at the edge of Boystown and slam Ann's shiny hardcover down on the counter because I would get bitch-slapped by either the clerk or his boyfriend before I had the the time to explain how I vote. I can Amazon the book but where am I going to read this once I somehow purloin it? (Purloin: to appropriate wrongfully and often by a breach of trust. I chose this word carefully.) Most of my reading is done in public (the gym, the airport, etc.). I can't possibly be seen reading this in public because it would totally destroy my street cred. But I just can't help it -- I have to know what she says in those pages so I can tell someone - anyone - exactly how wrong Ann Coulter is.

So, if you happen to see someone with her nose buried in Ann Coulter's smut, try not to judge. It might be me, and you won't want to disturb me lest I decide to tell you EXACTLY WHY Ann Coulter is ignorant and judgemental and incorrect about everything and damn it I spent $30 on this book when I already knew that.

American Idol Starts Tonight

Tonight begins the eighth season of searching for a singer. This show, a modern version of what The Original Amateur Hour did on radio about seventy years ago, is one of the money making marvels of our time. First, how many of the seven winners can you name? I'll list them in a minute.

This is the show that partnered a semi-well known old rocker, a washed up singer/dancer and an unknown, egotistical record promoter and turned the synergy into a top tier entertainment brand. It's only part of the empire, though. American Idol is a spinoff of the British "Pop Idol" that hit the airwaves a year earlier. There have been "Idol" shows in more than 30 countries.

1st Season Winner: Kelly Clarkson

Judge number one is Randy Jackson. Randy is 52 years old, married twice, divorced once, father to three. He's played bass for a lot of famous bands, produced hits and has a radio show. He also has the most annoying affectation as he calls everybody dawg.

2nd Season Winner: Ruben Studdard

Judge number two is Paula Abdul. She's 46, used to be a Lakers cheerleader, has had six number one records, two marriages and two divorces. She's pretty wacky, but she's sold 56 million records and thinks she can sell more. If you saw the video for her last effort, it's likely that the number isn't going a lot higher anytime soon.

3rd Season Winner: Fantasia Barrino

Judge three: Simon Cowell, is 49, has had success and failure and then more success in the music business and now earns 40 million bucks a year just from Idol. He's also produced a number of shows on his own, including the highly successful "America's Got Talent".

4th Season Winner: Carrie Underwood.

Judge number four debuts tonight: Kara Dioguardi, age 38, has been a success as a writer, producer, singer, TV producer and now the injection of new blood into the show. Watch to see how the chemistry develops.

Winners 5, 6 and 7: Taylor Hicks, Jordin Sparks and David Cook.

Now, I had planned to rip on the show, but in doing the research, found that Idol winners are selling zillions of dollars of records each year, Idol losers are starring in everything (Katherine McPhee is the best looking Idol loser) Idol judges have a bigger track record than I could have ever imagined and everyone in the world watches.

I got nothin'.