309 AMARG

The cryptic at the top of the posting means the 309th Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group . Immediately after World War II, the Army established a storage facility for B-29 and C-47 aircraft at Davis-Monthan AFB. Today, this facility is 309 AMARG, which has grown to include more than 4,400 aircraft and 13 aerospace vehicles from the Air Force, Navy-Marine Corps, Army, Coast Guard, and several federal agencies including NASA.

With an original purchase price of more than $35 billion, this fleet provides a unique inventory from which military units throughout the world may withdraw parts and aircraft. It's also a flying used car lot for US allies.

The chief reasons for selecting Davis-Monthan as the site for this storage center were Tucson's meager rainfall, low humidity, and alkaline soil. These conditions make it possible to store aircraft indefinitely with a minimum of deterioration and corrosion. In addition, the soil is hard, making it possible to park aircraft in the desert without constructing concrete or steel parking ramps.

In 1964 the Secretary of Defense directed the consolidation of all military aircraft storage and disposition centers into a single entity located at Davis-Monthan. In 1985, the addition of Titan II missiles and the Center's growing capability for restoring aircraft to flying status, prompted a name change to the Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Center or AMARC.

In May, 2007, AMARC aligned under the 309th Maintenance Wing at Hill AFB, Utah and became the 309th Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group (309 AMARG). Today the Group provides customer services including restoring aircraft to flying status, maintenance, and parts reclamation, in addition to its historic storage and disposal functions.

Rather than present a list, I've clipped photos of some of the sights at Davis-Monthan. Click on any of the photos to get larger versions. Big, weird, cool stuff, yes?

Just Another Reason...

This story is pirated from the Sun Times News Group. For the record, I was not involved, and reports of a shootout between the Chicago Police Department and the deceased victim are unsubstantiated, though stranger things have happened:

April 13, 2009
FROM STNG WIRE REPORTS
A dead goat was found hanging on a statute of Harry Caray outside Wrigley Field early Monday on the North Side. A similar incident occurred in 2007, police said.
About 2:40 a.m., police responded to a 911 call indicating a dead goat was hanging from a rope on the statue of Harry Caray outside Wrigley Field at the intersection of Clark and Addison streets, according to Town Hall District police.
The goat was hanging on one of Caray’s outstretched arms, according to police, who took the goat down and disposed of the remains. It was not known how the goat died and nothing was damaged, according to police.
There is not a "no trespassing" sign and a surveillance camera located nearby is not set on the statue, according to police, who said a similar incident also occurred in 2007, when a butchered goat was found hanging from the statue. No one was arrested in Monday's incident.

::::::::::::::;

It had not previously occurred to me...that the goat might have committed suicide.

Seals 3, Pirates 0

Let's say you have no context for the question that I am about to pose. Let's say I just walked up to you and asked you to answer this question.

If you had to choose someone, anyone, who would you really, really not want to mess with?

Just a shot in the dark here, but if you were to randomly select and respond "Navy Seal Sharpshooter" it would not be a surprising respone.

So how do you think the Somali pirate (Come visit Somalia: Government-free since 1991!) who was aboard the USS Bainbridge acting as the negotiator for himself and the three being towed in the lifeboat felt when the U.S. Navy "negotiator" informed him that discussions had ended?

"Excuse me, crapwad, but it is my pleasure to inform you on behalf of the United States Navy that we are now prepared to offer you the opportunity to kiss our asses as we escort you to one of the jails in which you will spend the rest of your miserable existence ."

"No, no, back off, Imperialist pig. My pirate homeys will kill the American hostage if you do not give us two million U.S. dollars, safe passage to beautiful Somalia, and a paid subscription to DirectTV, including premium channels. Pirates watch ESPN when we are not protecting our territorial waters of beautiful Somalia. All of us pirates had our own NCAA pool, too, did you know that, Implerialist pig? The winner of the pool got a French yacht. Now, bring me another Diet Coke, Implerialist pig. You have angered me, so I demand you throw a cold 12 pack of Diet Coke in with the ransom. No! Make it...Mountain Dew ."

"Yeah, chum bucket, about that ransom thing, it's like this: Your homeys have just had their skulls aerated by Navy Seal Sharpshooters, and the guy who was your hostage is just another pissed-off American now."

"So...no DirectTV? No HBO?

"No Mountain Dew?"

Anchors aweigh.

Friday Photos

The first Friday photo features the pirates of Somalia, who have finally poked their pirate stick into the wrong sleeping critter, cruising along in their little Somalian pirate boat.

The second picture shows the boat that belongs to the critter that got poked, the critter being the USA and the boat being a U.S. Navy warship that's gone out to deal with the pirates. Granted, the pirates have some nasty toys, so the Navy is going to want to be careful. On the other hand, you gotta think the pirates are way out over the tips of their skis this time.
+++++++++++
The pirates are bringing reinforcements, this as of Friday morning!
+++++++++++++++

The captain tried to escape and was recaptured, this as of Friday afternoon.
+++++++++++++++

Pirates not your thing? Here's a Good Friday cartoon.

Just Say No

Dear President Obama,

I would like to start this letter out by saying I would be psyched to hear you speak at any event. If that event were my commencement (unfortunately, I'm not graduating from anywhere this year) or a ceremonial reading of the dictionary, I would attend with great excitement.

As you know you have been invited to speak at many commencement ceremonies, and you have chosen three schools: Notre Dame, ASU, and the Naval Academy. The Midshipmen have responded graciously to your acceptance of their invitation, but then again, I guess they kind of have to. They do work for you, after all.

The rosary clutching masses have rebuked Notre Dame and the university president, for even having invited you in the first place. Ugh, that must leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Maybe you should rescind your acceptance. That would teach 'em, eh?

Now, ASU is refusing to give you an honorary degree. (Even Notre Dame is willing to bestow that honor upon you, even if when you turn over the diploma it comes stamped with protest pictures of aborted fetuses and a prayer for your eternal salvation.) They say your body of work is not such that it deserves an honorary degree. Ouch. That's gotta sting. I would think that being the President of the US merits an honorary degree on its own, even just being a regular old run-of-the-mill President. But the first African American President? Man, that didn't even cut it for them.

So I think you should just say no to ASU, too. Instead, I would like to invite you over to my apartment on either of those two days in May. I'm free both, so whatever works for you. Please bring Michelle, the girls, and your dog, if you have one at that point. I will not protest your arrival, and I will give you an honorary degree from a university I make up. I will print it out at work so that I can use the color printer. It will have several gold stars on it. I will use a color palette that complements the Oval Office so you can put it right there on your desk. It will also come with a "World's Best President" mug.

So, I hope to see you soon, Mr. President.

Sincerely,
Amy

P.S. If you'd prefer I confer the honorary degree upon you at your place, I can swing that too. I've got a free Southwest flight and they fly into Dulles.