If you had to choose someone, anyone, who would you really, really not want to mess with?
Just a shot in the dark here, but if you were to randomly select and respond "Navy Seal Sharpshooter" it would not be a surprising respone.
So how do you think the Somali pirate (Come visit Somalia: Government-free since 1991!) who was aboard the USS Bainbridge acting as the negotiator for himself and the three being towed in the lifeboat felt when the U.S. Navy "negotiator" informed him that discussions had ended?
"Excuse me, crapwad, but it is my pleasure to inform you on behalf of the United States Navy that we are now prepared to offer you the opportunity to kiss our asses as we escort you to one of the jails in which you will spend the rest of your miserable existence ."
"No, no, back off, Imperialist pig. My pirate homeys will kill the American hostage if you do not give us two million U.S. dollars, safe passage to beautiful Somalia, and a paid subscription to DirectTV, including premium channels. Pirates watch ESPN when we are not protecting our territorial waters of beautiful Somalia. All of us pirates had our own NCAA pool, too, did you know that, Implerialist pig? The winner of the pool got a French yacht. Now, bring me another Diet Coke, Implerialist pig. You have angered me, so I demand you throw a cold 12 pack of Diet Coke in with the ransom. No! Make it...Mountain Dew ."
"Yeah, chum bucket, about that ransom thing, it's like this: Your homeys have just had their skulls aerated by Navy Seal Sharpshooters, and the guy who was your hostage is just another pissed-off American now."
"So...no DirectTV? No HBO?
"No Mountain Dew?"
Anchors aweigh.
1 comment:
I had the pleasure of being sent to a "Motivational Platoon" run by SEALs while in Boot Camp for a comment some may have found offensive. Quite an experience, I must say.
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