The Pink Blob in the Middle is My Rental Car

I arrived early in the afternoon here yesterday on Anguilla, a direct flight on United.  It's an "in season" thing, the direct flight.  Saves several hours travel time, love it.   Got on the ferry and had a glorious ride over here.

THe ferry, love it! But the ferry boat porter, not so much.  There's a sign (I should have taken a picture) stating that THE PORTERS ARE NOT EMPLOYEES and THEY WORK FOR TIPS!.  Practical application : the porter here is neither an employee nor does he work, but he does expect to be compensated, and he is not shy about informing you of that.  He appeared taken aback when I responded "you gotta carry the f&#in' bag to get paid, sport".

You may think of me an ambassador at large to the small time con men of the world.

That little pinkish blob in the 

middle, that's my rental car.

Moving on.

I rented a car here for the first time. I usually use a cab.  I rented from Andy's on the beach.  I tell you that so if you come here, you DON'T rent from Andy's.  I reserved a compact.  It's a tiny Nissan called a March.  That's not an issue.  This particular March is the issue.

T

 There's a term here, "island car".  It means it's a beater that serves your basic transportation needs.  My Virgin Gorda Jeep was a high line island car.  Not when I bought it, but when I was done with it, it was high line.  "Mint", one restaurant owner called it.  Thanks, but it was island car mint.

This car is the exact opposite.


 It's filthy, inside and out.  It rattles all the time.  Three wheels match.  It had A/C at some time in its past.  It has a monstrous aftermarket radio and amplifier.  They don't work, the on/off button is long gone and it emits a continuous not too loud static  noise.  Not too loud unless you put the car in reverse, then it's a REALLY loud static noise, accompanied by beeping like delivery trucks beep.

Oh, yeah, it's right hand drive.  Big burn hole in

the driver's seat.  Thick rubber steering wheel cover,

bet you wish you had one of those.  Finally, the

giant mystery button right of the steering wheel. Swanky.

  

The March starts stops and steers well.  There's an enormous button that has been screwed on the dashboard and trails a wire that goes out the door to the front.  I think it's for the horn, but I'm not keen on experimenting with this one.

I have provided photographic evidence.  The exterior color is "Salmon Vomit".  The interior is "Seriously Filthy".

The side with the matching wheels and the 

shadow of me exclaiming in horror at the color

After all that, it's pretty fun.  Cruises awesome at 55.  KPH.  About 30 in USA speed.  People beep and pass me quite a bit.  I'm ok with that.

It is an island car.

Anguilla. It's 11

Hello.

Let's go back to the geography classes in which you didn't pay attention (neither did I).

1. Caribbean : somewhere south of Key West

2. Caribbean Sea : once referred to as the Spanish Lake.  Get James Michener's "Caribbean" on your Kindle.  It will start the fire deep inside you.

3. Antilles.  Nobody paid attention when they taught this 😅

4. Antilles II : they form an inverted "L", more or less, when you're looking at a map

5. Greater Antilles : the bottom of the inverted L, in this case, a line segment (my, my, my... a line "segment", aren't we the studious type) that is in the northern part of the Caribbean.  It's the Caymans, Cuba, Hispaniola, Puerto Rico, the USVI, the BVI and, at the junction, Anguilla and St. Maarten.

6. Lesser Antilles : the eastern boundary of the Caribbean Sea; the more or less north/south string of island nations that I'll map so I don't have to list them all

7. Most of you haven't been here.  That is not a good life fact.

8. Most of you haven't been here II.  I think we can fix that.

9.  Anguilla is fabulous.  Just sayin'. It's a fact.

10.  I believe that I have found the best place to experience Anguilla.  I may set up a group trip.

11.  Who's up for it?

More to come, next installment of Neveradullmoment.  I can't wait!!! and I write it 😊

Check Your Pockets

Today is an example of either how fractionalized we have become OR how wide ranging are our choices.

In Daytona, Florida, NASCAR will debut its new season with its marquee event, the Daytona 500.

In Chicago,  the NBA will stage its annual look-at- me pageant, the NBA All Star Game.

If I were to poll most of the people with whom I interact day-in day-out and asked them to name some NASCAR drivers, most would be flummoxed momentarily and would likely offer up....Dale Earnhardt..and...hold on, hold on...yeah...Jeff Gordon!

Deceased.  Retired.

Likewise, if I were to poll the same group to summon up a couple of NBA names, I expect to get Kobe Bryant and...hold on, hold on...of course...Michael Jordan!

Deceased.  Retired.

Golf?  Everyone knows  Phil. Tiger.  Rory. Patrick.  Alive and kickin'.

Draw your own conclusions.

I went to 5 of these.  Now I have meat in my pockets  

Speaking of meat...Yesterday I took mi esposa out for a Valentine's Day lunch at Gibson's. When we had finished our meals, we headed out into the cold to reclaim the car.  I handed the ticket to the lad at the valet station and immediately jammed my hands into my coat pockets, it was cold, you see.  Now imagine your hands thrust into your warm pockets and feeling...some clammy, soft mass of omg what the hell is...somebody crapped in my coat pocket???

I pulled a chunk of steak, ugh, out and knew who.

"Sandie!?"

She looks and bursts into laughter.

The wife has developed the habit of bringing home from restaurants a little something for the dog.  She had hacked off a hunk of her filet to bring home and stuffed it in what she thought was her pocket. Pretty funny.  Pretty disgusting.  

Oh, yeah..there's XFL football, too, if you can't do without that for a while.

That is all.

Oscars...but no Billy Crystal.

The Academy Awards, aka the Oscars, will be awarded this Sunday.

The first awards were presented in 1929.  The first Best Picture award went to "Wings".  I have seen that movie, believe it or not, and read about the making of the film.  It is truly amazing work for its time.

Fast forward to present day : I have resolved, yet again, to not watch the current awards show so as to avoid ranting and hollering at the television when a succession of people who make their living pretending to be someone other than who they are deign to take the opportunity of their moment in the spotlight to tell the world how to behave (that is a really long sentence, yes).  When this happens, I  begin to spew a vitriolic gospel punctuated, nay, brimming with abrupt common profanities.

My spouse barely raises an eyebrow anymore.

I confess, I will end up watching the show, at least for a while.  I will rant and holler.

It's what I do.

Wondering about the trophies?.

The Oscar statuettes used to be made in Chicago.

Then, just like Marshall Field & Co., and their famed Frango Mints,  Jays Potato Chips, the Chicago (now Arizona by way of St. Louis)  NFL Cardinals football team and a lot of other stuff that I will research some other time, Oscar went elsewhere.  If the trophy source is of interest, here's a link to the current maker and their story  (click) Oscar not Mayer .

As for the performances and productions, this year I have seen more of them than I customarily would have seen,  thanks to the contemporary express method of delivering content which bypasses our local theaters, in my case Apple TV.  The big categories are always of interest:

Best Picture Nominees - there are 9 nominees!   I've seen 5 of them.  My guess is either The Joker or Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.  That's out of the films I have seen, so if it's one of the others, I cannot comment, other than to snort derisively.  Note: if you cannot snort derisively, I can train you to do so.  I am, as they say, adept in this skill.

Best Actor - 5 nominees, I have seen 4.  Predicted winner : Joaquin Phoenix in The Joker.  Mesmerizing performance!

Best Supporting Actor - I pick Anthony Hopkins in The Two Popes.  Hopkins is one of the best ever.

Best Actress - I only saw one of the 5, so "I got nothin'" here.

Best Supporting Actress - same story.

Best Director - I pick Quentin Tarantino, who I think is absolutely nuts, for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which was, in my opinion,  absolutely terrific.  I think the actual chosen winner will be the venerable Martin Scorcese for The Irishman, because Scorcese is part of the old guy network that will want to reward what might be his last best effort, and it was a terrific movie, so I think they're going to give it to him.

There's a lot of other categories that are recognized for their wonderful work, but admit it, you don't really pay that close of attention either.  There is one area to which I have been paying more than usual attention : cinematography.  I'm picking The Joker for this one.

Douglas Fairbanks hosted the very first Oscars.  Billy Crystal hosted the show NINE times. There's no host for this year's show, but it will nonetheless grind on for hours, and we will ask ourselves on Monday why we watched it yet again.

Hooray for Hollywood!