Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's Eve Plans

New Year’s Eve, aka Amateur Night, can be celebrated in a variety of ways. When you’re young and again when you’re old, you generally celebrate by trying to stay awake until the stroke of midnight. For all the years in between, there are endless choices.

A few of the choices I’ve made over the years stand out. In the Virginia Avenue days, one of the neighbors always threw a party. I alternated between incoherent revelry, moderation, and abstinence at those parties. The memorable ones were the abstinence parties. Watching your friends advance into personal chaos is far more entertaining than accompanying them on the trip. The mornings after you've abstained, when you go visiting your friends to witness the aftereffects, are highly entertaining, too.

Staying off the roads, at least after, say, nine o’clock, is an absolute must. One year, I visited a family party on the west side of Chicago and departed early enough to make it home before midnight but late enough to share the roads with well oiled revelers. After numerous harrowing, breathtaking experiences, I made it home in one piece and resolved to never again tempt fate on New Year’s Eve.
Another unique New Year’s found my wife and I in the party mecca of the Midwest, Winneconne, Wisconsin. It was a viciously cold day, not unlike what we’ve experienced here lately, and on this night a blizzard had seized control of the proceedings. Our friend Doug Nelson had acquired the Talk of the Town Tavern that year, adding it to the resorts he already owned in Winneconne. For the night’s entertainment, Doug had hired the music teacher from the grade school to play piano. Strike the mental image you just got of a gray haired spinster, she was a party girl who could really play—a decision that would prove fortuitous, for as the night progressed, the entire town was plunged into blackness. We learned later that one of the local drunks had failed to recognize a curve and launched his pickup into a rather important electrical transformer. Doug found candles, dozens of candles from who knows where, and the piano required no electricity. The rest of the joints in town needed electricity for their juke boxes and the amps for their bands, i.e. "party over" for them. The Talk of the Town, on the other hand, turned into a candle lit oasis, and the piano player’s tip jar was brimming. The other places in town emptied out and The Talk of the Town filled up, packed ‘till closing time.

We stayed that night in one of Doug’s motel units, one that was customarily a summer place, and jammed towels under the door to keep the blizzard out, and held each other close to maximize warmth. It was a singularly spectacular night, unique and fun.

For a few years, we made a habit of dinner with friends, revisiting The Old Barn in Burbank one time, experiencing the now demised Greek offering from Lettuce Entertain You one time (gaining an understanding of why it’s life was short) and hitting White Fence Farm for Manhattans and fried chicken a couple of times, always early enough to avoid the lunatics.

Lately, friends join us for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres and we turn on the Channel 7 New Year’s show to see what kind of bad dress Janet Davies will have this year. We keep the night really low key.

It’s hard to get excited about anything else after you’ve spent New Year’s Eve in Winneconne, you know.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Four Christmases

The Mrs and I saw Four Christmases last week. It stars Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon as a pair of yuppies who are committed to each other and their very "me" lifestyle. Their annual Christmas vacation gets sidetracked by the weather, and instead of heading off to an exotic locale as is their custom, they spend time with each of their parents.

Short version review: I rate this as a sugar cookie, something that you'll enjoy but wouldn't miss if you skipped it. We like both the stars, Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, but they're not quite the right pair for this movie. They seem to me just a bit older than their characters ought to be. You can overlook that, and it's not too hard to overlook it if you like them. The situations give up some pretty good giggles for three fourths of the Christmases, but one of them is a misfire.


Vince Vaughn has been getting slammed a bit lately for his limitations, but I find him pretty funny. Reese Witherspoon, whom I have thoroughly enjoyed in most of the stuff she's done, seems to be fading on the charisma scale, at least in this movie. She's skinnied up a bit too much, too.


There's a terrific portrayal in the movie by Robert Duval and a couple of actors whose names escape me; they are Vaughn's dad and brothers. In another of the vignettes, Mary Steenburgen is the parent character, and she's looking pretty worn. Jon Voight has a significant role but doesn't get a lot to work with, character wise.


Bottom line, if you have a couple of hours to kill and these actors are on your like 'em list, see Four Christmases. If you miss it, it should be on DVD by spring.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Do Twinkies Last Forever?

This guy, Todd Wilbur, clones famous recipes, and for this one he's figured out how to make Twinkies. He's also testing the "Twinkies last forever" urban legend.

http://video.yahoo.com/network/100000089?v=2704765&l=100022574
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Alamo Bowl Tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTPKnvAiH5o

>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<

Finally:
Top Ten Things Overheard At The Bush Family Christmas

10. "Condi's gooned on egg nog -- mission accomplished"
9. "It was nice of the White House to hire Sarah Palin to work the coat check"
8. "When all is said and done, history will show that this get-together sucked"
7. "Cheney's stopping by -- charge the defibrillator"
6. "Please don't spoil this occasion by talking about the economy, climate change, Iraq, Afghanistan, collapse of the Republican party, or approval ratings"
5. "He's spent three-and-a-half hours trying to pronounce 'Chanukah'"
4. "The Ghost of Christmas Past is here to remind us how great things were under Clinton"
3. "Why is Barack Obama moving his stuff into the Oval Office?"
2. "The red cheeks. The huge belly -- Al Gore's here!"
1. "What do you get for the guy who's wrecked everything?"

Friday, December 26, 2008

Today is Boxing Day

In many countries, today, December 26, is Boxing Day, celebrated by the giving of gifts by the more priveleged to the less well off. In the USA, today is the day that gift wrap gets marked down to half price and people begin exchanging yesterday's unwanted gifts. I was going to search for a more polite phraseology than "unwanted gifts", but that's what they are, and that's why gift cards and cash, while impersonal, are such easy choices.

Other events that occurred on this day over the years...

1620: Elizabeth Bathory’s crimes were discovered. Lizzie, a Transylvanian countess and the niece of the Polish king Stefan Bathory, was the most prolific female mass murderer in history, with around 600 horrific deaths attributed to her. There was no trial, politics then being like politics always, Liz was simply taken out of circulation. She was eventually bricked into a small room in her castle where she existed for the final four years of her life.

1919: the contract of pitcher/outfielder Babe Ruth is sold by the Boston Red Sox to the New York Yankees. Speaking of foreshadowing executive brilliance, did you know that George Bush was an owner of the Texas Rangers when that team traded Sammie Sosa to the White Sox?

1933: Nissan Motor company wass founded in Tokyo. That is a 1935 model at the right.

1943: the Siege of Bastogne, which was a part of the Battle of the Bulge. Bastongne is in Belgium, by the way.

1966: the first Kwanzaa celebration. We are all so very grateful to Ron Karenga, the guy credited as having invented Kwanzaa. Yes, it is an invented holiday, and you can't blame Hallmark.

1982: Time Magazine names the personal computer its Machine of the Year. Flush with their newfound celebrity, personal computers around the world begin to conspire, plotting the Millenium problem.

1986:
the population of the world reaches 5 billion. China alone was 1 billion something, having exceeded a billion in 1982 and continuing to screw its corrective brains out.

1991:
the Soviet Union is formally dissolved. Politicians praise the victory of democracy. Practically speaking, it was simply a function of economics. The USSR went broke.


Thursday, December 25, 2008

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Bethlehem, today.


From Wiki Travel
Nearly all travellers arrive via Jerusalem.. Since Bethlehem is administered by the Palestinian Authority, an Israeli military checkpoint stands on the road connecting the two locations. All travelers are subject to rigorous questioning and searches. If checkpoint security is stepped up (usually owing to local disturbances or tension), buses and service taxis may be delayed or cancelled entirely. However to get into Bethlehem there is no checkpoint, but no Israelis can get in. On the way out it is not a very rigorous checkpoint, just like any other border crossing.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Santa Tracker

It's time to turn thing over to the professionals at the North American Aerospace Defense Command Center. Seriously. Click and get a lock tone on the bogey in the red sled, Big C. Send this along to everyone with little ones, there's a ton of things for them to play with when they explore the site...or play yourself. I started with the "Kids Countdown" button on the bottom.




Sunday, December 21, 2008

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Friday, December 19, 2008

Twelve Days of Christmas Images, #5

When I moved into my first house, like most everyone else who buys a home, I knew none of the neighbors. A few days after moving in, I answered the doorbell to find a chap in a navy blue wool hat, perched square on his head, cat-burglar style, a navy blue jacket of the type favored by Western Electric employees, blue jeans and a cigarette. "Howyadoin', I'm Bill and I live two doors down so I'm yer new neighbor and I'm sellin' raffle tickets for the fire deparment fundraiser." I invited Bill in, we sat down at the kitchen table and had a beer, and that was the start of one of the best friendships I will ever know.

I learned, in short order, that Bill was a lithographer, he worked at one of the big print houses down by Printers' Row near Cabrini Green, he was a volunteer fireman and EMT, his brother-in-law and sister lived across the street, his dad was a retired lithographer, his wife's and son's names, who was who on the fire department, the names and bio's of everyone else on our block on Virginia Avenue and he needed to get going 'cause he had to get up early to catch the very early train for work and that he was an avid fisherman. Bill reminded me of a guy I knew as a kid, a guy to whom everyone referred as the mayor of the block. Within a short time, I had met all the neighbors, some friends from college bought a house acrosse the street (eventually my cousin bought a house there, too) and everyone, except for his wife, had begun to refer to Bill simply as "The Mayor".

Over the next twenty or so years, The Mayor and I (and more friends/neighbors) would share enough adventures to fill a book. We met and adopted each other's families, and celebrated birthdays, and Fourth of July's, and Halloweens. We shared stories. We took trips together, fishing, hunting, visiting some watering holes that bore more and more stories and adventures. Some of the travels were very near to home, some took us to parts of the state that I didn't know existed.

An example of what kind of guy the Mayor was: we took a fishing trip to a Wisconsin town that I'd been going to for a number of years but that was new to him. Another friend drove so, we were without wheels on Saturday evening. The Mayor, ever resourceful, invented river hitch-hiking. Showered and changed, went down to the shore and stuck out his thumb. Got a ride within a couple of minutes.

Late the next morning, we're walking down Main Street to get breakfast, and, one after another, strangers are calling out "Hey, Mayor" and "Yo, Bill, howyadoon'". He'd been in town barely twenty four hours and already had a constituency.

The Mayor and I shared countless hours just talking, too; sitting on stools in his garage--his "clubhouse", as the walls had begun to accumulate the souvenirs of adventures, new people, old friends. There were newspaper clippings, fishing lures, photos, a fireman's hat/genuine and a fireman's hat/toy, hats, caps, a baseball helmet, maps, menus...it was like the phony memorabilia that is on the walls of comfy contemporary bar and grill type restaurants, except this stuff was all real, and there was a story behind each piece. We discussed families, and parents, and work, and labor (Bill) vs. management (me), and fishing, and women, and kids and cars and about everything else that you can imagine. Bill could talk up a storm with anyone, anytime, on most any subject. He also had weird skills, e.g. he wasn't a golfer, per se, but if you set up a bet he'd beat you. Same thing with bowling. Didn't really go bowling, unless somebody had a money proposition, then he'd kill you. Amazing.

The photo here, rescued from the clubhouse wall, is Bill with his catch after we had taken a salmon fishing charter on Lake Michigan. Watching Bill catch that fish was an amazing thing. The stereo was playing as we trolled a few miles offshore of downtown Chicago. The sun had barely risen over the lake horizon when Bill snatched the rod in response to the captain's cry of "fish on!" and the big salmon on the other end responded with jumps of defiance, clearing the water and leaping into the glare of the sun. What made it a complete storybook moment was that the stereo was churning out "Chariots of Fire" as Bill fought the fish, just like the whole thing had been choreographed for some tv fishing show.

We drank a lot back then. I didn't know it, but Bill drank a lot, period. One Christmas, at his family celebration, he drank enough to lose control, and the particular subject of Bill's bad behavior was his favorite nephew. When Mrs. Mayor informed Bill the next day of what he had done at the family Christmas the night before, and that she would no longer tolerate the life that this habitual behavior created, the voices inside the Mayor told him it was time. He went to his first AA meeting on December 26.

I knew very little about AA, and through The Mayor I learned a lot. I no longer lived on Virginia Avenue, though The Mayor did, so the intervals between our conversations were longer, but the intensity of the discussions was strong as ever. Bill's life changed, and we talked through it. My life changed, too, and Bill was there, and we talked through it.

Each year, on Christmas Eve, after we'd return home and the children were wherever they needed to be, I'd inevitably flip on the tv, and the pope's mass from St. Peter's would be coming on. That was my cue to pick up the phone and congratulate Bill on another year of sobriety. We'd get caught up, and I'd let him know that I was proud of what he'd done, and proud that we were still friends.

One summer vacation, when we returned home, near midnite that particular day, from a great family holiday week in Mexico, I punched the messages button on the answering maching and found a number of short, pointed, "call me" messages from friends. It was too late, after midnite--not to mention several days since the messages had arrived--to start call backs.

I knew, though.

I went into the garage, where friend and neighbor Pam had piled the newspapers that had arrived while we were away. I started tearing through them, one after another, while my wife watched, silent. When I got to Wednesdays paper, the sound just came out of me, involuntarily. Bill's obituary was in Wednesday's paper. We had been a world away when it happened, unreachable, and Bill had a heart attack and died, and he was gone, and the funeral was over, and it was too late to change any of it or say goodbye or do anything other than sit on the garage step and cry, which I did.

I don't pick up the phone anymore when the pope cranks it up at St. Peter's on Christmas eve, but every Christmas I find that I need to spend a moment with my friend Bill, and I miss him.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Twelve Days of Christmas Images, #6

While I am a South Sider, I was born and spent the first ten and half years of my life in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood. A good portion of those ten and a half years was spent on my knees in the breathtaking edifice pictured at the right, St. Hedwig Church, and getting scolded or clucked at or smacked by the nun in whose charge I had been placed at the time. Mass was a six day a week event, and I still don't know how they overlooked that we didn't show up on Saturdays.

While there were holy days and processesions and celebrations of various kinds throughout the year, Christmas was obviously the big day, and no part of the big day was grander than midnight mass.

We usually went to midnight mass, and it was a tactical operation in order to get the full impact. The Wigilia dinner and the gifts and partying had to be brought to a conclusion by about 10:30 so that we could make the two and a half block trek to church. We usually took the car, and it was critical to get there on time to get the good parking spot in the funeral home parking lot across the street from the church and then get the good seats. The cavernous church building was a challenge to heat, and when we'd arrive it was usually not much warmer than outside. There we'd sit, the minutes passing like hours, the pews steadily filling until eventually it was standing room only. The assembled crowd spoke only in whispers, probably in fear that some rogue nuns would swoop in and deliver a well timed smack should anyone speak too loudly.

Finally, at precisely 11:30 (as precise as it could be in the analog world in which we lived), someone in the choir loft would loudly clear his throat, bringing total and absolute silence to the congregation for a few seconds, anticipating the beginning of the choir's performance. The silence was split by the peal of a lone trumpeter, sounding the ten notes that comprised the triumphant beginning, one time, joined by a second trumpet on the repeat, a sound that gave young me such a rush, I can feel it all these years later. The announcement was followed by the organ's first chords, setting the tune for the choir's first song. There followed thirty minutes of mostly Polish language Christmas songs, the koledy, so reverent, ranging from the heart rending, ever so gently Lulaje Jezuniu (Lullaby to Jesus) to the sing-song Pójdźmy Wszyscy do Stajenki (Let Us All Go to the Stable), all songs that I could sing even though I had absolutely no idea what the words meant. There were special handouts for the congregation of song sheets, Polish lyrics on one side, English language on the other. The congregation would sing, like you can't imagine white folks singing, a great thing as I think of it now, annoying to me then because I wanted to listen to the choir and not a bunch of amateurs. Some of the songs used the trumpets and violinists to accompany the choir and the organ. It was always my favorite when Miss Annette, the organist, would sing solo sections, as she had a clear, rich, beautiful and strong voice that to my young ears was as near as I would ever be to hearing the sound of an angel.

At midnight, the choir would sing something to begin the mass, and the best part (for me) of the evening was done.

I've been to many midnight mass celebration since--not many in recent years-
-but none ever has matched the magic of those nights from many years ago, with everyone so reverent, so happy, so in the moment of Christmas.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Twelve Days of Christmas Images, #7

Still in the attic.
La Familia, three when they were little, Grandpa singing, three more when they were little, three new Sox caps and the family minus.






















Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Twelve Day of Christmas Images #8

Christmas is all about the kids. So, like Clark Griswold did, I'm going up in the attic to look at some pictures of days past. You're invited.






















More tomorrow. Some really fun ones, too. If you have photos that you'd like to share, please email a digital image.









Monday, December 15, 2008

Bowling For Dollars/Twelve Images of Christmas #9

Every December, invitations go out selected institutions of higher learning to round up their football players, coaches, gear and especially a few thousand of their loyal alumni and fans and bring ‘em somewhere for a holiday football game. There’s bowl games from DC to Detroit, from Miami to Boise, and of course there are games in California, including “the Granddaddy of ‘em all”, the Rose Bowl.

Other than providing a vacation for those fortunate enough to have some spare cash and vacation days, and filling up a lot of TV time for those who couldn’t go in person, what is the allure? It is a trait older than the holidays.

It is greed.

The bowls, you see pay incredible sums of money to the participants. Here, for your wonder and amazement, is a partial list. By the way, most of the participants pool their payday with other members of their conference, so everybody wins. Let us be reminded that this is, of course, amateur athletics.

The FedEx National Championship Game, January 8 in Miami
Estimated Payout Per Team: $17.5 Million

The Rose Bowl , New Year’s Day in Pasadena
Estimated Payout Per Team: $17.5 Million

The FedEx Orange Bowl , New Year’s Day in Miami
Estimated Payout Per Team : $17.5 Million
(yeah that’s 4 x $17.5 = $70 Million one week in Miami)

The Allstate Sugar Bowl , January 2 in New Orleans
Estimated Payout Per Team: $17.5 Million

The Tostitos Fiesta Bowl , January 5 in Tempe, AZ
Estimated Payout Per Team: $17.5 Million
also...
The Eagle Bank Bowl, December 20 in DC, $1 Million Each
The Champs Sports Bowl, December 27 in Orlando, $2.25 Million Each
The Alamo Bowl, December 29 in San Antonio, $2.2 Million Each
The Capital One Bowl, January 1 in Orlando, $4.25 Million Each
The Outback Bowl, January 1 in Tampa, $3.1 Million Each
The Cotton Bowl, January 2 in Dallas, $3 Million Each

There are more games, more dollars; you get the idea. I’m going to search for the big money numbers: how much is wagered on these games.
* * * * *
Twelve Days of Christmas Images #10


This is Thimble City. In our pre video game world, we had this manual version of Sim City, a piece of pressed board painted like a town center, elevated by plastic legs at each corner. Thimble City had several buildings, with the people and cars moved around the city by using plastic wands with a magnet at the tip. The people and the cars had magnets in their bottoms, and the wands were moved around underneath the city surface, and we played two at a time. This is the only toy that I can remember my sister and I actually playing together. Sort of like an ancient version of the internet link for XBox, except we were actually there, together, in the same place. There were also occasional monster attacks on Thimble City, those occurring when our cat would join the playtime and stalk the city. If you want to relive this bit of your childhood, there are some sets out there for $300 and up. If I recall correctly, this was another Remco product. Remco, Marx and Ideal shaped millions of little lives in the world before Microsoft.

Pre-binary Christmas.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Twelve Images of Christmas -- #10

Late addition: Pirate Update, good guys score one! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081213/ap_on_re_af/piracy
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A pair of Christmas toys from my childhood today.

First, from Marx, is the Big Bruiser tow truck that I got when I was eight or so. Big Bruiser was huge in comparison to my other toy cars, made of white nylon-like plastic, and incredibly brawny. It had an electric winch that could pull any of the toy cars, except that Big Bruiser's tires were a pretty hard rubber that slid on the tile floor, so you couldn't hook up to his collar and pull the dog across the kitchen. Equipped with blinking lights and a siren, too (I think), Big Bruiser had one overriding flaw: it had an alkaline battery appetite in a non-alkaline world. It simply ate batteries like crazy. I loved it. Still photo below, and a commercial here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJHO8AP8Gx0


Toy number two today is even cooler http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCVjT2N8dIg This is maybe the ultimate child's toy from a cold war world: the Steve Canyon fighter jet. Play the video, and imagine little me sitting there at the controls. It was all about air superiority in my childhood.

Scary Christmas.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Twelve Images of Christmas -- #11

Christmas Eve dinner in Polish homes is the celebration of the Wigilia, the Vigil. Dinner gets started by sharing bits of these wafers, oplatki, with your family. They're made of the same stuff as a communion wafer and may be plain or, like these, embossed with a scene. The dinner itself is traditionally meatless, but as the elders got older in our family the rules were changed on the fly. When I was a small boy, the main entree was perch. The kids complained, so french fried shrimp was added. Over time, the perch disappeared, the shrimp got top billing, and then one day Grandpa decided that polish sausage was acceptable, partly because he had made it himself. Mushroom soup, using incredibly costly imported dried mushrooms, has also been a headline item for the Wigilia dinner.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Twelve Images of Christmas -- #12

There's 12 days 'till Christmas, so here's the first of 12 days of images that are Christmas in our house.

We begin with Mr. Christmas himself, Clark, leader of the Griswold tribe, and his sidekick, Cousin Eddy. The first time our friend Pam next door met our Cousin Eddy she thought that I had hired an actor to spoof her.

On Christmas Eve, everybody in our house sits down and we watch this, again, and we laugh, again, because it is us.

Again.


Different Topic:

Think that our Illinois politicians don't cost us all a ton of money? Look at this ( as we sink further into the mess that our elected representatives create for us). As they work on commuted sentences and new felonies, Michigan, king of the rust belt, scores a big plum project that should have been ours:
Argonne loses out on $550M research project
Jeff Finkelman on -->December 11, 2008 at 11:14 PM

The Department of Energy awarded a $550 million research project to Michigan State University today, disappointing officials at Argonne National Laboratory, which was the other finalist for the prized facility.
Federal officials say the university's application was superior, in part because its proposed budget is "reasonable and realistic" and because it offered to share some of the costs to build the facility for rare isotope beams. Argonne officials had estimated the cutting-edge research facility would have brought $250 million into the local economy during its eight-year construction, with a total local economic impact exceeding $1 billion. Once completed, the facility would have created 290 jobs and had an economic impact of $80 million a year, they said.The Department of Energy said the facility will provide research opportunities for about 1,000 scientists and students from around the world.

Maybe we can get a new WalMart or something, and George and Rod and Dick and all their pals can cut the grand opening ribbon as they preen with pride over the handful of new $8 per hour jobs.

Or maybe not.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

10 Christmas Songs I'm Already Sick Of

First of all, that title isn’t mine, it from another guy who wrote the list to which I’m responding. I’m disavowing the title ‘cause of the preposition hanging out in space at the end. I take a lot of grammatical liberties in writing here in order to try to create a tempo or mood, but I gag up on ones like that up there, just sitting, staring at me, being all preposition-like in its wrongness.

Now about the list…Geek Dad on Wired Blog Network is fed up with these 10:

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Gene Autry
Awww, man, why’d ya have to start by picking on Gene Autry? This is so old and contrived, you just have to love this song. Geek Dad complained about not understanding what “reindeer games” are. Dude, they’re REINDEER GAMES—let ‘em be.

Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
Hot and sexy and who cares if she sang this over 50 years ago? The subsequent cover versions are mere pretenders, Eartha Kitt, eventually the original TV Catwoman, rendered this a timeless classic.

Christmas Don’t be Late by Alvin & the Chipmunks
I admit it. I smile at this every year.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Springsteen
I’m not a big Springsteen fan, but to hear him blasting all that energy into this song as if he really believed, I love it.

We Three Kings by Mannheim Steamroller
Mannheim Steamroller is bogus, bogus, bogus. They were a nice change 20 years ago. Now it’s like listening to the band Chicago on the radio. Just can’t wait for it to be over.

Sleigh Ride by the Carpenters
The Carpenters were creepy then, and they’re creepy now.

Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms
This is happy. Whatcha bitchin’ about Geek Dad?

Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid
Felice Navidad by Jose Feliciano
Wonderful Christmas by Paul McCartney
I would pour out venom and anxiety by the crapload commenting on these three. Suffice it to say these songs should never be heard again, anywhere, anytime.

There are a few songs that could be played a lot more.
Is That Really Santa by the Beach Boys
Gotta have a little beach music at Christmas!


Blue Christmas by Elvis
Schmaltzy Elvis in a perfect setting.

Twinkletoes by Eddie Blazonczyk
Santa’s proud of Rudolph’s nose but he’ll get more light from Twinkletoes

Finally, the all time best. Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, played by me on the piano in the dining room, from an ancient publication of sheet music that the missus gave me many years ago. The prelude lyrics that set up the part of the song with which everyone is familiar were a big surprise to me when I saw them first. As I play, I hear Bing on the vocal. Verrrrry happy sounds.

Here's an addition in honor of the governor of the great state of ILL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM38kN4AOys

Which Christmas songs do you love//hate?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

George, Dick and Rod

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was led from his house wearing handcuffs yesterday. That would be his house in Chicago. You may recall that Rod refused to occupy the governor's mansion in Springfield. That is just one of Rod's charming behaviors in the Illinois political spotlight, the mansion thing.

Rod may have had much greater foresight as a salesman than he displayed as a governor or as a future felon, staying out of Springfield in favor of Chicago. After all, the action is up in Chicago. If a guy is looking to get the best price for a soon to be vacated position as a United States Senator, you probably don't want to be stuck in downstate Illinois. You need to be in a better traffic area. You gotta be around your pals. You gotta have foresight.

To hear the words of U.S. Attorney Pat Fitzgerald that Rod's actions "would make Lincoln roll over in his grave" is to hear the public damnation of a man accused of a heinous crime, those words coming from a public servant who sees the most repulsive criminal acts.

Enter Illinois Senator Dick Durbin, quick to let the good citizens of Illinois know just where he stands on the issue. Following is from CNN.com :

At a press conference Tuesday, Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin, a Democrat, said he wants the Illinois legislature to act quickly to pass a law setting a special election to fill Obama's seat, in order to prevent Blagojevich from making a tainted appointment or there being a lengthy vacancy in the Senate.
"No appointment by this governor under these circumstances could produce a credible replacement," Durbin said.


Johnny on the spot, that's our Dick Durbin!

I would like to replay three more statements about the Illinois governor.
1.) A statement made by Patrick Fitzgerald, the fellow who just arrested Rod. In this case he was talking about another Illinois governor, Rod's predecessor, George Ryan (from the Chicago Tribune online dated April 17, 2006):
U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald called Ryan's quashing of investigations into the sale of driver's licenses for bribes as secretary of state "a low-water mark for public service."

2.) A statement from Dick Durbin (December 2, 2008 Chicago Tribune online), explaining why he was asking for George Ryan's sentence to be commuted:
"For those who would argue that a commutation makes light of his crimes, it is clear that he has already paid a significant price and will continue to do so as long as he lives," Durbin wrote of Ryan in a letter to Bush. "Justice is a sword that should be tempered with compassion. Further imprisonment will not, in my opinion, serve the ends of justice."

3.) Next (Chicago Tribune online of November 28, 2008):
Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who rode into state office pledging to clean up the corruption of his predecessor, said Thursday that President George W. Bush should commute the federal prison sentence of former Gov. George Ryan to time served as an act of compassion. Blagojevich...contended Ryan had paid "a significant price" for what he termed "mistakes." ...Blagojevich said a commutation by Bush would be a "fine decision."
You gotta have pals. Next move, Senator Durbin?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Google'd

I found some material on iGoogle that is priceless, or perhaps just a reminder of how diverse is the world around us. What I found is called the “How-To of the Day”. I reviewed one or two and then realized that there was no apparent pattern --or sense-- to what I was being invited to learn. Here’s a sample. By the way, the image at the right is Snuffy Smith, formerly paired with Google. Barney Google. True.

How to Define a Problem Like Einstein.
He passed in 1955, so why is Einstein still a problem?

How to Beat Procrastination
We can look at this one later.

How to Cook Food in a Hotel Room using Just a Coffee Maker and an Iron
Followed by the equally popular "How to Avoid Being Blamed for Burning Down an Entire Hotel"

How to Look Good Naked
Last suggestion was “turn out the lights”

How to Make Hot Mulled Beer on a Chilly Day
I cannot think of one person who would want to try this.

10 Easy Ways to Get Onion Odor Off Your Hands
Finally, the reason for Hot Mulled Beer!

How to Make Alcohol From common Table Sugar
For all our friends in prison, a holiday treat

How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci
From the popular “Leonardo” series: ”How to Act Like Leonardo di Caprio” and “What Happened to Leonardo the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle”

How to Open a Bottle With a Ring
Includes “what lies to tell while they’re stitching your hand in the E.R.”

How to Dig Post Holes
What could I possibly add to this?

9 Ways to Use an Old Plastic Shower Curtain
Recycle it and skip the rest?


How to Start Learning Morse Code
This has gone far enough.

- …. .- -
.. …
.- .-.. .-..

Monday, December 8, 2008

Compare Cardinals

Final Weekend Results:

Louisville @ Rutgers -10 1/2
Rutgers won Thursday night, 63-14
Louisville has such a cool mascot on their helmets. It’s the best thing they’ve shown this year.
Dear old Rutgers never really gave the lads from KY a chance.
"W"

Buffalo @ Ball State -15
Buffalo, 42-24
Ball St is undefeated. Fifteen might be a stretch, but I’m on it.
Buffalo and Ball State met Friday night for the MAC Championship at an almost empty Ford Field in Detroit. Ball St's highly touted QB almost singlehandedly scuttled his team's bid for an undefeated season. His screw-ups ( leaping attempt at ata TD when 2 receivers were open turned into a Buffalo TD, not ready for first sound snap led to another fumble and another Buffalo TD, fumble at midfield set up yet another TD ) translated to at least three 14 point swings before the game got totally out of hand at the end. With the spread, I lost by a mere 33 points... By the way, FYI, Ball St. is in Muncie.
"L"
Pitt @ Connecticut -3
Wannstedtburgh, 34-10
Wannie alert!
What else is there say. I've been Wannied, again.
"L"

Boston College @ Virginia Tech PK
VaTech, 30-12.
I’m taking the home team
It was played a t a neutral site (Tampa, where I belong, that is the photo) but VaTech was the designated home team, and I get a
"W"

Missouri @ Oklahoma -17
Oklahoma 62, Mizzou 21
Booma Soonas gawn run all ovuh Mizoora.
Sooners stomped Mizzou and stood on the carcass to reach the national championship game.
"W"

Regular Season Totals: 53 Wins, 52 Losses and 2 Ties. Yes, Victory is Mine...
Twelve days from now, Saturday, December 20, the first of this year's 33 Bowl Games kicks off.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Quick Picks

Happy Birthday to my best girl. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeypOvsY91Q

Wagering on football games is a pretty good bet. I have reached this conclusion based on the following (thanks to Durango Bill):
Statistically, there are 1.7 fatalities for every 100,000,000 auto miles driven.
If you drive a mile to the store and a mile back to buy your lottery ticket, the likelihood that you will be killed on your lottery ticket buying trip is aprroximately 1 in 29,500,000.

You are six times more likely to be killed during the trip than you are likely to buy a winning Mega Millions ticket.

Here are the weekend picks. I stopped on the way home for lottery tickets, so I hope I am exempt from becoming a negative statistic.

Louisville @ Rutgers -10.5
Rutgers won Thursday night, 63-14
Louisville has such a cool mascot on their helmets. It’s the best thing they’ve shown this year.
"W"

Buffalo @ Ball State -15

Ball St is undefeated. Fifteen might be a stretch, but I’m on it.

Pitt @ Connecticut -3
Wannie alert!

Boston College @ Virginia Tech PK
I’m taking the home team.

Missouri @ Oklahoma -17
Booma Soonas gawn run all ovuh Mizoora.

Go out and buy someone an apartment building for Christmas, the economy needs your support.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Queen for a Day

Once upon a time, in the days before podcasts,satellite tv, cable, and the rest of the entertainment options that have become so matter of fact to us today, radio was king of the land. Not Sirius or XM or hi-def radio, but simple blast it into a little box in the house and captivate the world radio. Antiquity disclaimer: Being born into the TV age, I did not learn this from first hand experience.

Anyway, there was a rich variety of programming, like soap operas and serials. BTW, soap operas, introduced on radio, were so named because they were sponsored largely by the big name laundry soaps of the day. Radio was also the world which would give birth to the forerunner of what would become reality TV. Among the first of that genre was a show called Queen for a Day. Born on the radio in the 1940's, the show jumped media tracks to TV and ran concurrently on radio and TV for several years. The show lasted on TV until 1967.


The premise of the show was pure genius. Collect four down on their luck women to tell their tales of woe. Fill a studio with rubes to hear the stories and pass judgement on which of the four was the saddest sack of the lot. Use the "Applause-O-Meter" to judge which of them has made the best (worst?) impression. Parade the winner on stage in a robe and crown while Pomp & Circumstance plays, shower her with gifts (seems it was always a washing machine, how regal!)the rubes scream in approval and the home audience feels simultaneously superior and gratified by the biggest loser becoming the winner. If this sounds naggingly contemporary, think Jerry Springer Show with a throne, and instead of DNA testing there's a washing machine in the goody bag.


So, while I was grinning through the research on this bit of our contemporary American history, I found that there is a present day version of Queen for a Day. It's an organization that provides a bit of pampering and special treatment for pediatric cancer patients, giving them a little special treatement to shine a little sunshine into a challenging time. Take a look at http://www.qfad.org/

Queen for a Day, from the ridiculous to the sublime.

That is all.

Quick -This is Friday's Post

Louisville @ Rutgers -10.5
Louisville has such a cool mascot on their helmets. It’s the best thing they’ve shown this year.

Buffalo @ Ball State -15
Ball St is undefeated. Fifteen might be a stretch, but I’m on it.

Pitt @ Connecticut -3
Wannie alert!

Boston College @ Virginia Tech PK
I’m taking the home team.

Missouri @ Oklahoma -17
Booma Soonas gawn run all ovuh Mizoora.

Go out and buy someone an apartment building for Christmas, the economy needs your support.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

'Tis the Season

Mi esposa is a big fan of parades. To be more specific, she loves the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Rose Parade, so her parade watching season consists of two days about five weeks apart. The advent of HD TV and big sound has made the parade watching experience almost tolerable for me.

Almost!

NBC had Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera doing the play by play-- or is it "step by step" for a parade? These are pretty notorious people to do a parade. I remember Captain Kangaroo doing the parade commentary, and Hugh Downs, and Regis, and Katy Couric and more. When I searched for past hosts to aide my recall, the first few that I found reminded me why I have historically avoided watching the parade. Example:, the 1989 CBS host list included Patrick Duffy and Joan Van Ark, Faith Ford, Mary Frann, Tim Reid and a visit from Richard Chamberlain. Now, honestly, in your absolutely most delirious chemical induced moments, could you have ever come up with a combination like that?

More research revealed that Bryant Gumbel and Willard Scott did the parade for a ten year span, '87 to '97. I believe that Bryant is the obnoxious Gumbel. Greg is the sports oriented one who's actually rather likable. I also found that Matt and Meredith have been doing this for ten years now. I am beginning to recall why I usually avoid watching this spectacle.

By the way, the Macy's Parade was born in 1924. Since there was no TV back then, the commentators for the first parade, Sid and Manny, two guys from the tenement district, bellowed their descriptions at the crowd through megaphones until they were chased off by a barrage of rocks from onlookers who feared that commentators might become a permanent fixture.

The first act in this year's parade was was James Taylor, who sang America the Beautiful. It was simply wonderful. The next act was Miley Cyrus. The downward spiral was officially launched. Next, three little blond lip-synchers called The Clique Girlz. Implosion! My parade watching was over for the day.

TV doesn't give us the real drama of the parade, the human interaction with inflated floating creatures, the parade balloons. The first balloon ever used in the parade was Felix the Cat in 1927. Mickey Mouse debuted in 1934. Underdog joined in 1965. The list is pretty long, with Ronald McDonald winning my nomination for perennial creepiest balloon, and Pikachu a creepy close second. Pikachu looks like a dust mite that has grown to mammoth proportions, ready to assault Manhattan.

The balloon creatures have had problems over the years, the drama that TV denies us. In 1986, the evil Raggedy Ann balloon knocked down a lampost and the Superman balloon was attacked by a tree--presumably a helium filled kryptonite tree-- that tore off his Superhand. In 1997, the Cat in the Hat crashed into a lampost, resulting in one human parade attendee suffering a fractured skull that left her in a coma for a month. The winds that same year prompted NYC police to stab and subdue balloon Barney and balloon Pink Panther, committing grand scale balloonicide, justified, allegedly, by public safety concerns. The NYC balloon coroner's investigation was never made public.

My favorite balloon just debuted this year: Buzz Lightyear. It looks like they've dressed up Jim Thome and floated him down the street.

My other favorite, the M&M's, has been banned, presumably for bad behavior. The two photos below reveal the M&M's plotting their attack and the aftermath of their helium fueled rage.


This misfortune proved that Al Roker and Willard Scott are not the biggest gas bags in New York.

That is all.

****************

Different topic, carried over. http://durbin.senate.gov/ That's where you can tell Dick Durbin that he's dicked you and me and everyone else in Illinois, having now proceeded with his bold faced display of cronyism, seeking a commutation of sentence for George Ryan. Dick wrote a letter to W, who's been handing out pardons as his reign comes to a conclusion. You can send an email to W comments@whitehouse.gov , or just hope he treats the request like the USA's economy, in which case Ryan won't be going anywhere.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Monday Monday

This past Saturday afternoon, the Lemont HS football team made its second consecutive trip to Champaign to play for the Illinois Class 6A championship. The Indians came up short, losing 37-15 at Memorial Stadium. Congratulations to everyone involved in the Lemont football program on another tremendously successful year. Lemont finished the season with a 13-1 record.

I learned a lot about high school football this year. As a member of the field crew, I had the opportunity to witness first hand the behavior of a number of the opposing teams that played at LHS this year. The classiest opposing organization was Lake Forest HS, whose players, coaches and fans behaved in a manner that should make their community very proud. I won't name the team is at the other end of the behavioral spectrum, other than to say that it is a school from our conference. While I wasn't on the field for the championship game this past Saturday, my unimpeachable sources were quite emphatic that Saturday's opponent wasn't on par with Lake Forest.

There's more to the games than trophies.

Portfolio update: 2 and 2. What a surprise...
Washington State @ Hawaii -29.5
Hawaii, 24-10
Many points, yes. Washington State is terrible and the Rainbows usually skewer teams like this at home.
Old reliable Hawaii failed me...
"L"

Florida -16.5 @ Florida State
Florida 45, Florida St 15
Urban Mayer has no soul. Keep it up!
"W"

Syracuse @ Cincinatti -21.5
Syracus, 30-10
Syracuse spent everything last week proving that USB stinks.
21 1/2 was too much.
"L"

Fresno State @ Boise State -21
Boise State cruised, 61-10
Smurfturf is the answer.
It sure doesn't hurt. BTW, the turf was replaced prior to this football season.
"W"

YTD: 50-50-2. Unbelievable.