My Ears Made My Brain Hurt

NOT  Chicago Mayor Lightfoot.
This is the Dumb & Dumber Haircut.

Each time I think we have reached humanity's intellectual bottom, I learn of something lower and we have a new bottom. 

I am not a fan of Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot.  I will not go through my reasoning at this time, and maybe she'll change, I'll change, we'll have a big Kumbaya moment, yadda yadda happily ever after. 

Not likely, even if she knew - or cared - who I am and what I think.

Anyway...

Yesterday I listened to Lightfoot's afternoon presser about Chicago and The Virus.  Some reporter (let's discuss the title "reporter" later, maybe another time) questioned Lightfoot about getting a haircut. 

The economy is in freefall, McCormick place is the world's biggest MASH hospital, policemen are getting sick, people are frightened as hell and this individual thinks it's important to ask the mayor of the city about getting a haircut. 

The mayor says she needed a haircut.  She says she's in the public eye and tries to maintain her appearance.  She tries to move on with the presser.

NO.  Follow up on the haircut.  The mayor answers and tries to move forward.

NO.  More follow up on the haircut.  The mayor answers and actively disengages from the line of questioning.

This morning, news outlets throughout Chicago--news outlets NATIONALLY -- are talking about The Haircut. 

Kudos to the mayor for being patient.  Mostly patient.  More patient than I would like her to have been.  Props to the the mayor for keeping up with her grooming.  I need a haircut, too. 

This was bad.  Then I heard that some reporter asked NYC mayor DiBlasio if the city was planning to bury COVID victims in NYC parks. 

Stay tuned.  Dumb and Dumber are just getting started.

If You Skeered...

There was a story in the local e-news a day or two ago about a murder-suicide that killed a Lockport
couple.  They were in their 50's.  It appears that they were afraid they had contracted COVID-19.

I learned a new term, the hard way, last summer.  The term is "permanent solution to a temporary problem".  That seems to be what occurred with the Lockport couple.

During this scourge, it is more important than usual to be on the lookout for threats to our collective mental health.  It has been difficult to sequester ourselves these past weeks, and it isn't getting any easier.  The forecast is more of the same.  Worse, maybe.

TV talks to us.  Talking back to the TV isn't a good sign!

 I would like to insert a brief diversion here in the form of a personal message to my wife and my son.  Hollering at the governor on TV is not the same as talking to the TV.  Hollering at the governor on TV is a healthy expression of he's a jerk and I have to say so in a safe environment, occasionally at higher than normal volume, and it is cathartic.  

I'm glad we cleared that up.

Back to the serious matter here: talk to your family, talk to your friends, offer encouragement, try to be understanding.  It's good for you, too!  Express yourself!  My son had a sticker from a Nashville souvenir shop  on the wall in his dorm a few years back: "If you skeered, say you skeered".

I think we're all at least a little bit skeered right now. If we share the burden - yours and mine - we will all handle it better.

Reach out.

Viral Prescription : Change the Channel

 You're locked in the house as you practice social distancing.  You're gonna be there for a while. What

It's on Hulu and it's still great.

to do, what to do?

You could exercise. You could read a book, many books, the classics. 

You could begin a new exercise regimen.  Start music lessons (over the internet, of course).  Learn a new language.

So which do you choose?

None of the above.

You watch more TV, of course.

We have many, many more choices than ever before.  I have a word of advice.

You should avoid watching too much news.

The news shows SHOUT at us non-stop...in normal times!  In these challenging times, the shouting has become much louder.  The facts of the day are sobering, no, the facts are depressing enough when delivered in an even handed manner.  We do not have the luxury of that kind of presentation.  We get slammed by teams trying to out-disaster each other. 

My wife and I watched about an hour and a half of non-stop news the other day.  There came a point at which we had to leave it behind.  It was too much.

I won't recite specifics.  You can get those easily enough at every hour of the day. We had gone from informed to saddened to morose to depressed right there in the rec room.  We turned it off, switched to TV sugar cookies.  Sit com reruns.  The older the better.  Pointless giggly humor for an hour or so.

It was great.  We'll face reality in the morning.

Life Gone Viral

As the viral life rolls along, new challenges evolve and a new normal might be emerging.

The number one question for me is how long will this last.  While there is no shortage of answers, there is no reliable answer.  This uncertainty has created a unique discomfort.  It feels like we're in a disaster movie, bad things are happening, and we can't tell if this is the first fifteen minutes of the movie or the last fifteen or somewhere in between.  Have we still not reached  the "this is really serious" part, or are we already making great strides to the glorious ending where we defeat the virus?

One of the odd happenings involves several new age versions of the Flying Dutchman.  These are the cruise ships that aren't being allowed to land at any port anywhere because they have or may have infected passengers aboard.  There's a boat in Panama that's been at sea for nearly four weeks, has had four passengers die and is not being allowed to land anywhere. Right now there are at least ten ships and over 10,000 passengers who are stranded at sea around the planet.

Back at home, there are stripes on the floor at the grocery stores.  The stripes are six feet apart and so must you be if you are in line in the store.

Families are having virtual get togethers, using tools like Zoom or group texting.

We have been ordering "to-go" from restaurants that we would normally dine in.  It's not as satisfying for us, the diners, and the restaurants aren't getting any alcohol sales revenue, but we both get partly what we need.

Health clubs and gyms are closed.  People are out walking, just for the sake of walking.   They look a little self conscious, like they have found some primitive lost form of movement.  Dad, did people really used to do this before cars?  Yes, Billy, but only in the city.  We never allowed this in the suburbs.  

No one is commuting, so oil consumption has plummeted and oil prices are lower than equal measures of milk. Cows ahead of dead dinosaurs. Pollution levels have also regressed as a result.

Social distancing is the newly adopted term.  Everyone understands it, most  are even paying attention. "Shelter in place" has also been put into frequent use, but that's the one that was borne in a different catastrophe circumstance, so I have rejected it, preferring "just stay home".

Golf courses are closed.  This is a problem of myopic government, where a walk outside is deemed more threatening to health than sitting around eating and drinking three weeks worth of groceries and beer in an afternoon while simultaneously avoiding fresh air and exercise.

Governor Jay Pritzker waddles out on TV every afternoon to piss me off anew as he blames everyone and anyone (never himself) for whatever the problem of the day happens to be, all the while doing his best to seem genuine.

Many things happening that we never imagined.  

We are under siege. 

Stay safe.  We will prevail.

This Is Not a Drill

The missus, who has always been very encouraging of my efforts at writing, has offered me a suggestion.  Keep a log of what we're experiencing, she said.  This won't last forever, and it will be interesting to be able to look back.

While it won't be as endearing as the accounts of some of our family vacations (like when I referred to an airline ticket agent as a travel nazi, that was a pretty good one), I agree that there may be merit to this exercise, keeping notes of how this thing has rearranged our world.  So, let's review.  First, how did this start?

Apparently the virus was born in China in December, or earlier, as it seems that they didn't respond quickly to contain it. We didn't show too much concern in the beginning, as the numbers grew in Asia and then in Europe.  It was their problem, not ours.  Bad reasoning. Ruh-roh.

Our highly mobile, highly interactive, highly interdependent world meant that the virus would come here, and come here it did  The arithmetic of spreading infectious disease has been a tough lesson. It grows like a wildfire.

The biggest jolt? The economy went from racing speed to sputtering in the blink of an eye.  Layoffs, furloughs, reduced hours, salary cuts...all of them, quickly and harshly.

Food shortages, fortunately brief.  Mimsy placed a big grocery order online and the deliveryman showed up with a single chicken breast -- everything else was out of stock.

The toilet paper issue, ugh.

Bars and restaurants closed.  Slam-bam, closed.  Take out and delivery is the new norm. 

Schools closed.  Spring break has been extended until further notice--or fall.

Theaters closed.

Airlines cutting schedules, cutting, cutting...Borders closed, no travel into or out of countries.  Continents  -- continents! -- closed. 

Offices closed.  Work from home, starting immediately.

Roads are empty.  We do family group texting just to chat.  I staged a virtual board meeting.  Everyone is adapting.  

Sports stopped.  No golf, hockey, whatever the new football league was called, that stopped, no NBA, no March Madness, NASCAR stopped and substituted virtual racing that's pretty cool,  what have I missed?  Baseball didn't start, no opening day this past week.

So far, in our house, the impact has been moderate. We are still working.  We are trying to spend locally to help keep the local economy afloat.

That's the start.  Next posting I'll add more.  If I missed things, let me know and please share your experiences as well.

Amazing times, these.