Quality Cars?

Here's the latest JD Power dependability rankings for auto brands. I've presented it upside down, so it goes from worst to first. If I had the time, I'd create an index of dependability compared to average sales price, and this would change the list a lot.


Suzuki came in last- new slogan : "King of the Crap Wagons"
Volkswagen - next to last, and they dumped spokesmodel Brooke Shields!
Land Rover - haha, look how much you paid!


Isuzu - whatever happened to Joe Isuzu?
SAAB - test drove one, once. The console fell apart when I opened it. Sob...

Scion - kiddie cars

HUMMER - look like enormous gym lockers on wheels, but at least it's not a Land Rover

Pontiac - strong performer -- in the 60's
Kia - the auto division of Chia Pets
Saturn - nice cars that will be extinct in two years

MINI- a little for a lot
Dodge - Al Bundy drove a Dodge. So did my dad, and Richard Petty.
Nissan - pretty average cars. We've owned three.

Volvo - boring as a drive across Kansas. The Chinese may buy the company.

Chevrolet - ain't that America! Had a couple over the years.

Mitsubishi - no one actually buys these. No one.
Mercedes-Benz - less dependable than Chrysler, whom they divorced.

GMC - tarted-up Chevys, so why are they better?
BMW - beat Mercedes, lost to Hyundai. Ha-ha.
Chrysler - believe it...or not. I had two, so "not"

Subaru - OK, sure, why not?
Hyundai - they have come a long way.
Audi - VW's big expensive brother. Remember VW, next to last?

Ford - the healthiest US auto maker
Porsche - lotsa cash for the cache
Cadillac - great cars and Kate Walsh commercials

Honda - we love our Honda.
Lincoln - we like our Lincoln. A lot.
Acura - Honda with more frosting.

Infiniti - don't like 'em. Never have.
Mercury - had one. Surprisingly excellent car. Shitty marketing department.
Toyota - automotive appliances, but who can argue?
Lexus - the benchmark has been bested.

and in a tie for best...

Buick - I am impressed but I'm still not buying one. They dumped Tiger Woods, too.
Jaguar - This is now Tata Motors of India, by the way, and by the way of FoMoCo. They sell so few of these, each one should be perfect.

Newsreels

Today, a toy for you to play with at your leisure. It is the Universal Newsreel channel on YouTube.

For those of you under the age of ancient, newsreels were part of the cinema experience, whereby folks in the pre-TV age got their news visuals along with their entertainment at the movie theatre.

Very fun history lessons here!

http://www.youtube.com/user/UniversalNewsreels

******************

Different topic: Rick Wagoner, the CEO of General Motors, is "stepping down at the request of the White House". The boss of GM got canned by the President, the end of a 30+ year career that saw GM slide nearly out of existence.

The New Propaganda

I know that it is rather off-putting when, in the opening of an essay, the author begins at screaming level, with the emotional volume already on "10". I usually don't want to read on when that occurs, as the thought process tends to degenerate quickly.

In order to avoid that, I will say, as simply and as dispassionately as I can, that bankers and their political lap dogs have coined a new batch of phrases and terms that are designed to take your money and make it their money.

Barack's New Deal is quickly being wrapped in Bankers' New Bullshit.

The first term that I will present for your inspection is "toxic assets".

It is not unlike the old George Carlin "flammable/inflammable" routine. One is simply never certain what it means, so the usual decision is to let someone else handle it. Toxins are bad, so they must go, of course. The banks have "toxic assets" on their books, and for the banks to be healthy and for all of us to be happy and prosperous again the banks need to purge those toxins from their books. Mind you, these toxins are disguised as ASSETS, so we may infer that they are wily by nature, and the poor banks need assistance with this process, lest they be POISONED BY THE TOXIC ASSETS!!! SOUND THE ALARM, TO ARMS, CITIZENS, TO ARMS!!!

Slow down, Jasper, it's getting fragrant already.

Allow me to peel the layers of this particular onion. What is actually happening is that the bankers and the investors in the banks, some of whom include the bankers themselves by way of stock options, have screwed up to a fantabulous degree. They have pissed right thru the federal diaper that you and your kids and your kids' kids will pay for, for years and years and years to come. The bankers have made bad loans, ridiculously bad loans in many cases, and they want you to give them money to make the boo-boos better. You, taxpayer, give them more money, and at a time when they, the banks, have the whole goddammed country financially constipated because they aren't lending to anyone.

A little closer attention here to the term "toxic asset". This is so absurd that it would be cool, in a way, and if we didn't have to pay for it. It is elegant in its simplicity, as are many great swindles. Go back to junior high math to understand: a negative ("toxic") times a positive ("asset") is a negative. Unfortunately for the bankers/hucksters, bullshit is not arithmetic.

That allows us to consider the second popular term of the day "private participation will be required".

Bite me, banker boys.

In my business, when we screw up, we fix the screw up--at our cost. Screw up too many times and someone takes your place. It's basic Darwinism.

Our governmental units have become accustomed to "private participation" by raising taxes to cover their screw-ups: doing crappy stadium deals, financing ridiculous bad investments with public money, running inefficient governmental services, creating programs that bleed money endlessly instead of attempting to create solutions.

So beware, folks, when the new stewards of bullshit, the bankers, begin to inform us that "private participation will be required", what the are saying is that their political buddies are coming for your wallet, to make some more of your money their money.

That is where we began this quiet rant, so it would appear that we have come full circle.

That is all.

My New Favorite Commercial

I'm lovin' it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD64OhbG4ps&feature=related

Scandal Over Du Lac

(My co-pilot and daughter is at the controls today; buckle up!)

On Friday, my beloved Alma Mater Notre Dame (whose full name is "University of Notre Dame du Lac," in case you are wondering about the post's title) announced the identity of the 2009 commencement speaker. How cool. Barack Obama is coming to South Bend, IN -- the armpit of the United States -- to speak at Notre Dame's graduation ceremony.


I started the following Monday morning by reading the letters to the editor of the ND student newspaper, The Observer. The letters were overall very enthusiastic, but in the worst way. It seems that students and alumni are getting their knickers in a twist over this one. On Monday, I was also sent a link to sign an online petition protesting the selection of Obama as the commencement speaker. As I write this tonight, there are over 100,000 signatures. Needless to say I did not sign it.

One letter to editor stated the following: "Inviting Barack Obama to speak on our campus sends precisely the opposite message. The University administration is tacitly encouraging students to view the president with respect, awe and admiration simply by virtue of his election to political office. And perhaps most importantly, it is turning a blind eye to Obama's support of state-sanctioned killing in the form of federal support for abortion and embryonic stem cell research, to his continuation of the Bush administration's reckless foreign policy of interventionism and its disregard for civil liberties and to his irresponsible and destructive economic policies."

Well, if it is one thing I wish my parents had instilled in me it would be complete disrespect for the office of the President. That's really what I hope kids are learning in college - do not admire or feel awe for the President. He's probably some poor schlub that didn't even try that hard to get where he is. And its not like his job is challenging. Further, the author of this post - who incidentially is the co-President of the College Libertarians club, as if that wasn't enough to discredit him - seems to only have a problem with disregard for certain civil liberties with which he disagrees. I don't think people should have the civil liberty of cheering for the Chicago Cubs; he doesn't think people should have the civil liberty of having an abortion. We can't all get our way.

Another post, this one from an alum from the class of '88: "I will be in attendance on commencement day with several thousand others to show my distaste for this decision. We will bring with us the graphic photos of what abortion does to its victims so there can be no doubt about the hatefulness of the man chosen to instruct Notre Dame graduates in how to be a success in life. I would suggest that if the administration does not want to suffer the embarrasment of pictures of dismembered children lining Notre Dame Ave. on what should be the happiest day of our newest graduates' lives, they withdraw this invitation immediately."

Whoa whoa whoa, crazy! Pictures of dismembered babies? That's not so much appropriate, eh? Obama's not coming to extoll the virtues of abortion; in fact, I'm pretty sure the subject won't be on the agenda. I'm sure he'll be way too busy talking about things like serving your community, reaching for the stars, dreaming big, etc., to even be able to broach the subject. Jeez, dude, way to ruin the day for all the parents who want to take pictures with their hungover graduates and their siblings, grandparents, nieces, nephews, etc. The dead babies in the background will look great on the mantle. Psycho. Oh and one more thing, buddy, I'm pretty sure it's not the best etiquette to rescind an invitation to the President of the United States.

Bishop John D'Arcy, whose diocese encompasses Notre Dame, and who has vowed to boycott the graduation ceremony (what a loss!) said the following of Obama's decision to federally fund embryonic stem cell research: "While claiming to separate politics from science, he has in fact separated science from ethics and has brought the American government, for the first time in history, into supporting direct destruction of innocent human life."

Um, the first time in history? The first time? Bishop, I know the New Testament cuts out before the last two millenia, but come on. Obama's decision wasn't even the first time the American government supported direct destruction of human life that week. There are two wars going on, remember?

There are more zealots I could quote, but I'll refrain, because they are all saying the same thing, and quite frankly, it is embarassing. It is people like these that made me less of a Catholic upon my graduation from a Catholic university that I was when I enrolled because I fundamentally disagree with almost everything they believe. My response to everyone disgusted by the selection of Obama as the commencement speaker is this: Are you aware that he is the President of the United States? And are you aware that he's pretty busy back in Washington dealing with wars and a busted economy, and has no ties to Notre Dame whatsoever, and is still coming to campus to address the '09 graduates? Some say that he accepted Notre Dame's offer so he can influence the Catholic community...I say who cares why he accepted. In my view, whatever your beliefs, however you vote, the bottom line is the President is coming to Notre Dame and that is pretty effing sweet.

To conclude, to those who can't get over a couple tenets of Obama's platform, go ahead and sign the petition at notredamescandal.com or come out on graduation day, protest the speech, and litter campus with pictures entirely inappropriate for graduation day. Further, I invite any '09 graduate who is disgusted with his/her commencement speaker, or whose family is disgusted, to give their spare graduation ticket to me. If you can't see how awesome it is to have Obama - who is not even speaking at his own alma mater's commencement - speak on graduation, I certainly can.