STRONG 10 FOR WEEK 10 FOOTBALL

I am almost back to even as we wait for week 10 to kick off. My investing associate, Two Gun Pete, was much chagrined by last week's grand failure. The STP Partners' portfolio, always in tune with the time, suffered its largest single day decline in value since the fund was established in 2002. We have assured ourselves that this is an anomaly and we are prepared to come out firing our way back to prosperity this weekend. We are also considering applying for a federal bailout and giving ourselves a bonus or taking a junket, as everyone else is getting flush this way, and we feel it is only fair that we receive equitable treatment, particularly because we are a diverse organization with magnanimous objectives.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Here's this week's outlook:

Syracuse +14 @ Rutgers
The Orangemen come in at 2-6, Rutgers is 3-5. Rutgers is fresh off a bye week that would have been their letdown game, that being the followup to a the 54-34 kick in the Wannie they gave to the Pitt Panthers (the same Panthers who then went out and beat the University of South Bend in an overtime futility battle in which they didn’t cover the spread). Syracuse beat Louisville 28-21 last week, so this should be their letdown game. My thought is that the Orange can stay inside the points.
Wisconsin -10 ½ @ Indiana
The Badgers are 4-5, having lost to MSU 25-24 on a last second field goal last week. The week before, Wisconsin pasted the Flighty Illini 27-17. Indiana is 3-6, with their only big win coming courtesy of Northwestern. Wisconsin seems to be improving week by week. Indiana is licking its wounds from last Saturday’s smackdown by Central Michigan, 37-34. I’ll take the Badgers and give up the points.
Purdue @ Michigan State -10
The Boilers won 48-42 last week against frustrated Michigan, using an exciting hook and ladder play to score the winning TD as the clock wound down. Sparty enters with an 8-2 record and visions of a major bowl game. Purdue is 3-6 and waiting to bring down the curtain on Joe Tiller’s reign. This is going to be a tune-up game for Michigan State and the Boilers are gonna get spanked.
Florida -24 @ Vanderbilt
Vandy started off the year hot-hot-hot. They are not-not-not in the same league with the Gators, though they will have their home crowd and fans to surround them this Saturday. The home town folk will witness a beatdown of grand proportion. FLA likes to humiliate people. Vandy is next in line.

SanDiego State @ BYU -36 ½
BYU is the Cougars, not the Fighting Mormons as I would have had them. SanDiego State is the Aztecs. The Aztec is also the ugliest car ever produced by Pontiac, but I am digressing. Bright yellow is its most hideous rendering for the automotive Aztec, and now I have digressed further. BYU was an early season high flyer, getting derailed by the Horned Frogs of TCU a few weeks back. 36 ½ will make this a stretch, but I think the Fighting Mormons have it in them.

Utah State @ Boise State -32.5
Boise likes to score lots of points on the SmurfTurf. I think they will do just that this Saturday against the 2-7 Aggies of Utah State.
Penn State -7.5 @ Iowa
Yer kiddin’ me right? Joe’s boys are going to clobber the Hawks, book it.
Baylor @ Texas -26
The Longhorns are going to be very, very angry this weekend after TexTech gutted them last week. Give up the points, lock up the women and children and watch Baylor get destroyed.
Louisville @ Pittsburgh -6 ½
Oh why, oh why do I do these things???? Wannie’s rolling, Louisville isn’t very good and this is only their third road game of the year, everything’s ripe for another Wannie screw up…I’m taking Pitt and giving the points anyway. No guts, no glory. No Wannie, no nothin’.
Michigan @ Minnesota -7 ½
I see this as the Gophers’ rebound game. They are plentymuch p.o.’d after Northwestern’s Mike Kafka ran for over 200 yards against them last week. MN would love to trash the Wolverines in the Humpdome to assuage their Land of 10,000 Lakes depression. Another smack in the beezer for Rich Rodriguez.

As for the local lads, come Saturday afternoon the Lemont Indians will travel to the ersatz tundra of Gately Stadium, 103rd and Cottage Grove, in the heart of Chicago's scenic south side, to tangle with Morgan Park. My last trip to Gately was when I was a sophomore in high school, as my son is now.

There is no punchline to that bit of anecdotal information, sorry. That is all.

Bless You

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to cold and flu season! Today, we shall discuss the common annoyance and aggravation known as "the common cold". How common are they? Adults average 2 or 3 colds per year. Children average 6 to 10 colds per year.

A common cold is caused by a viral infection located in the nose. Children's noses are the major source of cold viruses. I did not make this up. You may verify the information by referring to Viral Infection of Humans: Epidemiology and Control, 4th ed. A.S. Evans, and R.A. Kaslow, editors. I believe these people to be researchers, not anti-childites.


Cold viruses live only in the noses of humans and not in other animals, except chimpanzees and higher primates. I would assume that those of you who have a pack of pet chimpanzees running around the house are therefore susceptible to more colds and spend a lot of time trying to teach your monkees to use Kleenex and giving them chicken soup flavored Purina Monkee Chow.

Point of order: Chimpanzees are apes, monkees are not. I generically refer to bentover hairy creatures with simian faces as monkees (except my old Uncle Carmine, who has taken exception more than once).

How does one catch a cold? The cold virus is deposited in the front of the nasal passages by contaminated fingers (your own, I would imagine, though this was not specified) or from droplets from coughs and sneezes. If you do not wish to catch any more colds, I recommend that you strap on a hazmat mask between November and March. Mind you, I am not an M.D., but I think that it would be fun to see everyone running around with big orange masks trying to talk on their cellphones. There should also be a tube in your mask so you can suck up your Starbucks without exposing yourself to the virus.

When one catches a cold, why does one become a sneezing, hacking, dripping excuse for a human? AH-HAH! Your body's immune system has sounded an alarm: COLD VIRUS DETECTED! Then it sets off to repel the invader by releasing inflammatory mediators. "Inflammatory mediators" is one of those oxymoron terms, as I expect mediators to be non-inflammatory by nature. That, among other reasons, is why I am not, as I have already warned, an M.D. The most famous of the mediators is histamine. It is the most famous because everything we take when we have a cold advertises anti-histamines. If you are going to be anti-anything, you should know why.

The mediators, battling the invading virus, cause dilation and leakage of blood vessels and mucus gland secretion, or more directly, snot and phlegm. No, not the B96 morning team of Snot and Phlegm, but the hock-a-loogie kind. Your body is apparently trying to wash that virus away in a sea of yuck.

"Feed a cold and starve a fever". This is a myth, a myth of proportion equal to the existence of a Republican Party in Cook County. You should eat healthy always, and a cold is no excuse to shovel food into you sneeze port like there was no tomorrow. Some other common misconceptions include :

• a weakend immune system makes you more susceptible to catching a cold, and
• dry air from central heating systems makes you more susceptible and
• catching a chill makes you more susceptible

Not so and not so and not so.

So, now that you're terrified of the invading virus, how can you minimize the likelihoold of being afflicted? Choose:
A) Consume enormous amounts of vitamin C
B) Wear a garlic necklace and carry a stick to poke at any virus bearers who come near you
C) Pour Robitussin on your Cheerios every Thursday morning
D) Wash your hands frequently

The correct answer is "D", although a regimen of actions A through C will certainly not hurt your chances. Washing your hands frequently will destroy the viruses that you have acquired by touching contaminated surfaces.

You may also wish to toss your chimpanzees in the wash frequently to destroy their viruses, and don't laugh when you see Uncle Carmine.

That is all.

About Last Night

I stayed up and watched as America made history last night. Some thoughts:

WGN TV should get an award for the visuals that it supplied from Grant Park last night. There were so many great pictures of the people in the audience, faces illuminated with joy and happiness, it was magnificent to view.

• The crowd estimates were classic Chicago: the reporters said 65,000, city officials said 125,000, and the mayor said a million. Other than that, last night Chicago went a long way to distance itself from the biggest-hick-town-in-the-world behavior that normally characterizes big events.
• WGN's on-site reporter was Jackie Bange, who stepped up and set herself apart with a top notch performance, sharing insight and showing restraint. Bravo!
• WGN's studio crew: their guest list was excellent, host Mark Suppelsa isn't quite to the level of Channel 7's Ron Magers (whom I now consider to be the top dog) and co-host Micah Materre isn't big news material. Suppelsa, a very likable fellow, was rather windy, and Materre, well, she appeared to be out of her element.
• Dennis Hastert is a crotchety old fart. Toni Preckwinkle is an excellent communicator, even though she always looks irritated. The political commentator, whose name I must go look up, was one of the most eloquent people on TV last night, local or national.
• Channel 7's Andy Shaw botched his big moment, telling us that his ABC network had not yet projected a winner, that coming just seconds after we saw that ABC projected Barack to be the winner.
• The woman who sang the national anthem should have had the words in front of her, what an embarassment!
• John McCain's concession speech was the most effective communication I've ever seen from him. It was another example of a candidate who has shown us a better side of himself too late. He was graceful, elegant and in control...too late.
• Barack's victory speech was a big step up in class; I was spellbound.
• The conclusion of the speech, when everyone had left him alone onstage, was incredible. He waved to the crowd, turned and walked to the back of the stage, where Michelle was waiting, her hand outstretched. He took her hand and they walked to the side curtain together, pausing and turning to each other for the briefest of moments before exiting. It was a unique, warm and exciting moment.
• From the sublime to the ridiculous: Jesse Jackson seems to have become irrelevant, and I wish the TV people would treat him that way and spare us the mumbly mumbles and history Jesse-style that comes with putting him on camera.
• Tony Peraica should go away.
• Likewise for Jim Oberweis, who is now 0-5.
• Paul Vallas reminds me of John Lithgow on Third Rock from the Sun. Doesn't matter what he's saying, all I can see is Third Rock.
• Fox 32 had snippy Lauren Cohn on their coverage. That's how I chose Channel 9.
• I didn't see Richie Daley, anywhere at all.
• My daughter texted me at 10:10 p.m. a simple message: God Bless America.
• Yes.

That is all.

U.S.A. VOTES TODAY!!!

Week 10 Football Scoreboard

More W's than L's this weekend, lovin' it. The investment portforlio, on the other hand, had its most miserable weekend in history.
Go vote tomorrow!

Iowa @ Illinois –2
Illinois 27, Iowa 24
Both teams will have 5-4 records come Sunday morning.The over and under on this game is 50. It will have gone over before its over .
This isn't exactly how I thought it would come out, but the numbers work.
"W"
Northwestern @ Minnesota –7
NU 24, Minnesota 17
The ‘Cats lost their leading rusher and probably their quarterback
Yes, they did, and the replacement for those two was Mike Kafka, the 'Cats QB who ran for over 220 yards as Northwestern hikes its record to 7-2.
"L"
Iowa State @ Oklahoma State –30.5
OK State 59, Iowa State 17
they are going to score 1.3million points against the Cyclones
Not quite a million, but yee-ha!
"W"
Missouri –21.5 @ Baylor
Mizzou 31, Baylor 28
The money is huge in favor of Mizzou.
Sometimes it's good to be a casino. Hell, it's always good to be the casino!
"L"
Washington @USC –45
Pete Carroll 56, Tyrone Willingham 0
I look for Pete Carroll’s Trojans to try to annihilate Tyrone’s Washington. 45’s a lot of points. Buckle up!
"W"
Wisconsin @ Michigan State –5
MSU 25, Wisconsin24
Sparty booted a last second field goal to win by a point. Not enough to cover.
"L"
Washington State at Stanford –30.5
Stanford 58, Washington State 0
Jim Harbaugh’s Cardinal don’t get many opportunities to really paste anyone, so they’re unlikely to pass this one up.
They didn't...
"W"

Four wins, three losses, one game closer to .500. Season record 33-35-2.