Slumdog Celebrities

The cast of Slumdog Millionaire went out and did a bunch of touristy things in the days following their triumphant Oscar night, and well they should. Their vacation films were almost as good as the movie. While they returned to Mumbai to a deserved heroes' welcome, their time here looked a little weird.

The little guys who played the parts of the young brothers are cuter than can be, especially the one boy, Ayush Mahesh Khedekar, who plays young Jamal. This kid is the real star of the movie, and he was great fun to watch afterward. He won some carny prizes on Santa Monica pier and the cameras followed as he yelped and jumped and celebrated and had a great time.


Madhur Mittal, who plays the older Salim, was photographed post-Oscar mostly whipping his sunglasses on and off and looking into the distance, kind of like an Indian James Dean. Looks like a bit of a mope, but he's probably doing great with the ladies back in Mumbai.



Anil Kapoor plays Prem Kumar, the host of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in Slumdog. In the film, Prem is rather, shall we say, a dick. The clips that I caught of Anil's jaunts around L.A. suggest that the the character wasn't a real stretch for him. In fairness, the man is a 30+ year veteran of the film industry in his native country, so one can see where he'd expect a bit of deference from the press and public, and film clips can certainly be misleading and slanted. I thought he was just a curiousity.

In the end, outside the film, that's how they'll all be (vaguely) remembered in the USA. Just a curiousity.

Marriage Questions from a Divorce Lawyer

I ran across a story in which a divorce lawyer put together a few questions that should be posed to prospective mates. Looking over the list, it's evident that the questions have been culled from his years of experience and on their face, the questions are logical and well thought out. Marriage, on the other hand, is hardly logical and predictable. Here are his questions, with some thoughts.

1. How do you believe we should spend our money and on what?
If this is young people considering the question, it's usually pointless, as they have no money. If it's older folks with kids, it's pointless, as they usually have no money. If it's anybody in the last year, it's pointless, 'cause the whole country has no money. My wife and I...the answer is get a little money and then argue about it.

2. What are your thoughts about starting a family?
This question makes perfect sense, as the two partners ought to be on the same wavelength. It doesn't make as much sense if the family has already been started and the partners are looking at how to react. In some places in our culture, the question is irrelevant, leading to the creation of the terms "baby momma" and "baby daddy".

3. If I get sick, how will you take care of me?
The narrative in the story says this is intended to get an understanding of the partners' long term view. I don't think that this question is consistent with the notion of falling in love and building a life together. It is one of those "shit happens" circumstances that we all hope doesn't happen to us. It does pose the question "What would Jennifer Aniston do?"

4. Do you envision us growing old together?
This one, I think this one is important. This is why you get to meet each other's families. Prospective partners are going to be like their parents, a little or lot, and if you gag when you spend time with the parents, well... By the way, the other person will be looking at your parents. How's that working for you?

5. Do you ever think about your ex?
I assume this was intended to include "...in a manner that does not portray that person as borne from the bowels of hell." If you're a youngster and you're dreaming about what might have been, either act on it or close the book. Life's not usually loaded up with second chances.

6. Has your mate ever told you they scared a former mate in any way?
What psychopath in their wacky state is going to 'fess up to this? Sweetheart...did I ever tell you about the time I chased Edwin down the alley at 2 a.m. with the hedge clippers screaming about what a no good son a bitch he is? It was all such a silly misunderstanding!

7. Is your mate good at problem solving?
Ah, is he/she resourceful!? If you're not, you need a partner who is, and then you need to trust them, which could mean you get scah-rood, or maybe you still need mommy to take care of you, in which case you will eventually end up scah-rood and you're shouldn't go screwing up some unsuspecting other person's life making promises you're incapable of keeping. Life's problems and challenges are not easily anticipated, nor are they customarily something for which you can rehearse. We make up the answers as we go. Most people do.

8. How does my mate deal with a "screwup?"
One must infer meaning here. If screwup means an error in judgement, discuss it, at low volume, with the intention of finding resolution, not assessing blame. If screwup is how you customarily refer to your prospective marriage partner, slam on the brakes and head the other way.

For young people, I have one point that I believe needs to be pounded into their brains: there is little correlation between "wedding" and "marriage". The first is a party (anybody can throw one) and the second is a voyage (with an unsure destination).

I have one divorce and one successful marriage. Neither can be attributed entirely to me. Neveradullmoment!

Oscar Rewind

This was an unusual year for Oscar in our house because we had actually seen some of the movies this year. As a result I was able to recognize some of the people who were being interviewed. I confess that I normally need a spotter next to me in the living room to explain why most of the people are being touted as celebrities. They look familiar (mug shots?) but most of them, I don't know why they're there.

This year's red carpet had some unusual guests. There was the foursome from Slumdog Millionaire, all of whom were clearly thrilled to be a part of the party. Slumdog is a really good movie; well worth a couple of hours of your time. Watching the Slumdog stars respond to Ryan Seascrest's inquiries was fun, but it also pointed ouy the limitations that Seacrest has as an interviewer. He's a chatty fellow, and he's persistent and energetic, but he's not going to be accused of being clever, and the numerous speech affectations that he offers up (e.g. pronouncing anything in Spanish, he's somewhere between Ricky Ricardo and Don Francisco, if the two of them were dweeby little snots) make you want to give him a smack.

Part of Seacrest's job was to hand off the coverage the people in the "sky box". One of the two up there, wherever "up there" was, was a woman, Juliana Rancic, who was relatively innocuous, aside from being stalker-level excited when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie arrived. Brad & AJ are clearly the reigning Hollywood glam couple, so a lot of folks share the excitement. Juliana's skybox partner was an extremely flaming gay guy with a platinum colored flat top hair cut wearing a dinner jacket and wielding an electric pen who was all about the dresses that the stars and pretenders were wearing. Think John Madden excitement crossbred with Will & Grace swish. When gay announcer guy (sorry, I couldn't find his name) got to Penelope Cruz and Jessica Biel and their dresses, he got so excited I thought he'd float right off his perch.

The show itself was the best in recent memory. Hugh Jackman was excellent, the format of having five former winners introduce nominees was an excellent addition and despite all the improvements I feel asleep before the show ended.

That is all.

This Tuesday It's Amy

My daughter and occasional blog author: this song was a pretty big influence on how your name was chosen. It was done by Pure Prairie League, who once featured Vince Gill. That is an earlier assembly of the band at the right. Other than the accompanying photo, there's no terrible visual with this one, just some music from my miscreant past. I never knew they spelled it differently in the song title, so you were spared that affectation.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4xp2lgiAjY

Aren't you glad that I never really got into Chuck Berry's "Maybelline"?

Tomorrow is Paczki Day

As there is Festivus for the rest of us, so is there Paczki Day for those discerning enough to avoid NOLA on Mardi Gras. Who will have the worse hangover is open to discussion.

Paczki Day started in Poland as Fat Thursday. The cakes were made to use up all the stuff that was supposed to be avoided during Lent. When the tradition transitioned to the USofA, the little jelly bombs took the Fat Tuesday spot.

Never satisfied with just a little nosh and burp, the Midwestern folks have taken the humble paczki to levels previously unimagined, unheard of and maybe best left unexplored. There are Paczki Festivals, Paczki Races, Paczki Costumes...I'll bet there's even a Barack O Paczki somewhere out there.

Nowhere is this day taken more seriously than at the honorary ancestral home of the paczki, Weber's Bakery on Archer Avenue. While you can get your paczkis at the local grocery ("Jools") or faux paczki at the Dunkin' Donuts ("jelly donut", puh-leeze!), or at any number of perfectly respectable paczki palaces throughout the paczki world, if you want to be in the big leagues of paczki, you want to be in the game at Weber's.


Weber's is closed today, Monday, in anticipation of Tuesday's Great Paczki Rush of '09. The bakery will open tomorrow, Tuesday, at 4:00 a.m. ( I am not making this up) and they will offer no fewer than 14 varieties of paczki. Their two parking lots will be packed with Buicks long before dawn.

Here, directly from the Weber's website (no, it is not paczki.com) are the offerings:

We offer 14 varieties of Paczki:
Custard w/Chocolate Top
Custard w/Powdered Top
Strawberry, Jelly, Apricot, Cheese,
Prune, Poppyseed, Lemon,
Apple-Cinnamon, Pineapple,
NEW: Blueberry w/ Powdered Top,
Fresh Strawberry w/ Chocolate Top*
Fresh Strawberry w/ White Top*
*Sold in units of 4 only!
1 FREE with every dozen Tuesday only!

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If you decide to go, and Weber's on Paczki Day is something everyone should experience at least once in a lifetime, be ready, go early and do not be denied in your quest. You will experience the elite of the paczki consuming world, stout women in babushkas, sensible shoes and grey wool coats, women with a steely glint in their eyes, big forearms and no reluctance to use a glower and and a hip check to preserve their place in line.

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Tread lightly, friend, lest you awaken the beasts within ...and find yourself defeated, crushed and paczki-less, for these women live to compete... in this place... and on this day.

It is the Super Bowl of Cake.

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Prepare yourself to enter the sugar sprinkled, jelly packed, deep fried version of the Soup Nazi's lair... who's next how many what kind next-next-next!!!

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Weber's Bakery, 7055 West Archer Avenue.