Good Morning, Tubby

Men’s Health Magazine reviewed the worst breakfast foods, and the results are enough to make you lose your appetite. Eating breakfast is important: you’ll eat less over the course of a day, start off your day sharper, there’s a laundry list of good things that come from taking time for a morning meal.

While I have plenty of bad habits, junk food for breakfast is not among them. I have been in the habit for a long time of making regular old boring oatmeal for breakfast in the microwave most every morning. My son has adopted the habit, too. It takes 7 minutes to prepare. The stats:

Quaker Old Fashioned Oatmeal, a ½ cup serving

150 calories, 3 g fat, 0 mg sodium

We make a 1/3 cup, so it's less. It's boring, butt...If you cruise the drive-thru for your eye opener, beware! Here are some of the gut bombs:
Worst Side Dish: Burger King Hash Browns – Large
620 calories, 40 g fat, 1,200 mg sodium and 60 g carbs, too…and this is a side dish!
But you can order a diet soda to go with it. Ugh.

Worst Breakfast Sandwich: Hardee’s Monster Biscuit
710 calories, 51 g fat, 2,250 mg sodium, 37 g carbs
A friend of mine has a fat brother-in-law whom he calls “Biscuit”. Fits.

Worst Kids Meal: Denny’s Big Dipper French Toastix with margarine and syrup
770 calories, 71 g fat, 107 g carbs
Nothing like a bunch of fat little kids jaked on sugar to make a happy family and a happy day.

Worst Pastry: Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll
813 calories, 32 g fat, 117 g carbs
Don’t forget to lick the gooey stuff off the wrapper to get the full impact.

Worst Combo Meal: McDonald’s Deluxe Breakfast
1,360 calories, 64 g fat, 2,325 mg sodium, 160 g carbs, 49 g sugars
This one touches all the bases. You get a biscuit, hash browns, hotcakes and syrup. Why not grab two, in case you’re hungry later?

Worst Omelet: IHOP Big Steak Omelet
1,490 calories
IHOP didn’t provide all the other numbers. If your opening bid is 1,490, why go any further? You get steak, cheese and hash browns…and in about 45 minutes, a big gross burp. Sorry, no drive-thru service for this one.

The Worst Breakfast in America: Bob Evans Stacked and Stuffed Caramel Banana Pecan Hotcakes
1,543 calories, 77 g fat, 2,259 g sodium, 198 g carbs, 109 g sugars

OK, this is not a drive-thru breakfast, either. You have to lumber in, find a sturdy chair and order this creation, so stay in your car and you’re safe. Just be careful in the parking lot, ‘cause the people who just ate this don’t move too fast.

I Can't Hold It In Anymore

I spent Tuesday evening watching the Presidential debate. I have watched these two guys for a while. I have watched a few of these races in my life. I have tried to reserve my judgement on this one.

First, a digression, an observation on the packaging of the debate: Tom Brokaw is one shitty moderator. Run the goddamned show, Tom, or let someone else do it. Now, back to the candidates.

When Barack Obama ascended to the national conscience a couple of years back, I opined that Barack appeared to me to be the John Kennedy of the current day. He appeared to me to be someone who could unite a country that is in need of a leader. Barack was, and is, charismatic, very well spoken, bright and well educated.

Then, it seems to me, he began pandering to black interests and excluding the rest of us. The circus with his church, his pastor, all these guys who shouldn't be influencing a president, all this chased me far away. Read "the speech of his life" and see what you think.

Time rolled forward, and war hero John McCain was anointed as the standard bearer by the other side. I listened. I read. I tried to decide if he's selling an extension of the Bush presidency, undoubtedly the worst administration in America since Lyndon Johnson sat on the throne.

I have decided that John McCain is NOT an extension of George Bush, no, sirree.

He's not even that good.

Last night's debate showed me an articulate, thoughtful and well prepared Barack Obama.

It then showed me a John McCain who has no idea of what he's talking about. McCain's dumbass jokes and misguided attempts at humor fell like the stock market as he rambled on, answering questions that hadn't been asked, trying to chuckle it up with Brokaw, talking down to the whole goddamned world, rambling on like he has answers to everything while actually answering nothing. His military ideas and references reveal complete denial of reality. He continually made reference to his hero Ronald Reagan, and spoke of his hero Teddy Roosevelt (don't get me started with a Teddy Roosevelt study; he was a priveleged loon who landed in the White House as an adventure). McCain then started with his "talk softly and carry a big stick" rhetoric... what the hell is he talking about? We're pissing hundreds of millions into the desert and sacrificing lives for no gain, just what big stick are we supposed to pick up?

To my amazement, to my utter astonishment, McCain said "I know how to get Bin Laden. I know how. I'll get him". Hey Big Stick, why don't you go tell George and the generals how to do it so we don't spend more lives and money? You savin' it so we'll adore you later?

This man is delusional.

When McCain picked Palin as his VP candidate, I remarked that he had just conceded the election. While she's been entertaining, it seems that the choice was simply an example of how detached this fellow is from the real world. He is clueless.

This race isn't about race anymore. America's economy is a mess, our military policy is indecipherable, and none of our other real issues has been addressed in the last eight years. No one has been held accountable and things must be changed.

I hope Barack can work for everyone to provide the leadership we so desperately need. I think Senator McCain needs to be anywhere but in the White House.

That is all.

Just Five More Minutes, Oprah

The National Sleep Foundation has a list of 10 Myths and Facts about Sleep. Here they are.

1.Snoring is common but not harmful.

Snoring can be an indication that there's another problem, like sleep apnea, and snoring is related to other conditions, e.g. hypertension and obesity. So while snoring isn't harmful, it may indicate other problems. In my house, snoring is a competition. First one to sleep doesn't hear the other.

2. You can cheat on the amount of sleep you get.

You need between 7 and 9 hours per night, less creates a sleep debt. It also seems to facilitate a lot of arguing, a condition knows as "crankinus bitchmaximus".

3. Turn up the radio or open the windows to stay awake when driving.

That way the EMT's and tow truck can find your crashed car by heading for the sound, and drag you out thru the open window.

4. Teens who fall asleep in class are lazy or have bad habits.

Maybe. Teens' body clocks tend toward keeping them sleeping later, says the Institute. So does the inernet, text messaging and video games. That's my scientific finding.

5. Insomnia is characterized by difficulty falling asleep.

Duh.

6. Daytime sleepiness means a persons isn't getting enought sleep.

Not as simple as it sounds, like #5. Once again, there may be underlying medical conditions. There may also be things like quarter beer night, extra innings in the game you were watching, and the dog had to go out three times last night.

7. Health problems are related to the amount and quality of sleep.

Yeah, baby...poor or too little sleep screws up things like the body's ability to use insulin and secrete hormones, and that can lead to a lot of other problems. Ugh.

8. The older you get, the fewer hours of sleep you need.

False. Older people may wake more frequently during the night, but still need 7-9 hours. They may exhibit a change in sleep patterns, like dozing off during the day. The scientific name for this is "the nap". It is not to be mixed with other scientific phenomena like "working" or "driving".

9. During sleep, your brain rests.

Nay, nay, your brain rocks on all night, but it gets recharged during sleep.

10. If you wake during the night, count sheep or just tough it out 'till you fall back asleep.

The Institute says if you're still awake after 15-20 minutes, go do something relaxing in another room. Presumably that does not include knocking back a juice glass of Jack Daniels or downing a carton of Ben and Jerry's. Personally, I've also found TV is a bad choice, as even infomercials and Oprah seem interesting at that point.

Well, infomercials, anyway.

Happy Birthday, T! (and Week 6 football)

Happy Birthday,Son

You are Simply the Best
XX & OO
Love you,

Dad

************************************************

A mixed bag of results in what was a very fun football day on Saturday.

BYU -30 @ Utah State
BYU 34, Utah State 14
“there you go again with the big point spread” Uh-huh. I was doing fine, the Mormons were putting a major beat down on the other Mormons (yeah, I know they're not actually, but I find it humorous, just like the notion that Jim McMahon played out there) for three quarters and then WHOA!!! they yanked back on the reins and settled, settled like Fosset's airplane settled when he took the close up of that mountain. ESPN put up a seaon-to-date graph that showed BYU beating the snot out of their opponents for 3 quarters and then taking Q4 off. They did it again on Friday night.
"L"
Penn State –14 @ Purdue
Penn State 20, Purdue 6
"currently ranked #6", "may have the best athletes of any Big 10 team". Oh what a crock! Penn State had 20-0 lead, I had a smile on my face and then blah-blah-blah. A tie. Ugh. Oh, yeah, Purdue's kicker sucks, too.
"T"
Iowa @ Michigan State -6 1/2
Michigan State 16, Iowa 13
Sparty had 'em on the ropes throughout the game, could have delivered a knock out punch, didn't seem to have that club in their bag . Shee-hit. Hope they don't have it next week up at Evanston, either.
"L"
Indiana @ Minnesota-7
Minnesota 16, Indiana 7
I was in an elevated state of angst for a prolonged time period, having invested a material amount of STP Partners' venture capital in this contest. The game was a blatant display of crappy football skills. Despite the utter craptacularness, I was absolutely thrilled that Minnesota kicked a 38 yard field goal with 22 seconds left in the game to cover the spread. Minnesota is now 5-1 this year, 4-0 at home, and the logo on their helmets reminds me of MAD Magazine.
"W"
Auburn @ Vanderbilt +4
Vanderbilt 14, Auburn 13

"Vandy will be dandy and win this one outright." What a fun game this one was! Auburn marched down the field on their opening possession and Vandy's defense held them on four tries from inside the five yard line. The margin of victory for Vanderbilt ended up being a missed PAT.

"W"
Illinois +2 ½ @ Michigan
Illinois 45, Michigan 20
Whoa, Nellie, did the toast of Champaign ever put a major league whippin' on the A-maized and Feeling Blue from Ann Arbor! The Fighting Illini ran and passed and caught and tackled and it's always fun to watch the locals go up to the vaunted Big House and mistreat Michigan and send the 109,000 spectators home unhappy. 109,00. That would be 218,000...never mind. By the way, I would like to have a contest to put an actual logo on the Illinois helmets to replace that 70's rapid transit printing. BORRR--RING!
"W"

Oregon Ducks +16 ½@ USC
USC 44, Ducks 10

Yup. 2 weeks back I said always take the Trojans. Then they were beaten, and I thought they were coming back to the pack. They're not, and the Ducks are hurting.

"L"

I began the weekend with a very poor 15-21-1 record. This week's 3-3-1 looks pretty good in comparison, but the deficit remains. The record now: 18-24-2.

Veep Debate Viewpoint

Today I offer a bonus posting, courtesy of my daughter, reporting from her current duty station near the Neon Palace. Futile Football Felections follows...
Some thoughts on the VP debate:
1. Are there no Republicans that can correctly pronounce the word “nuclear?”
2. Joe Biden kind of looks like a fetus from the neck up. His forehead might be bigger than Wasilla. (It’s like Sputnik! It’s got its own solar system…HEED --PAPERRR--- NOOW!!!)
3. How disappointed was the moderator that she couldn’t get the Veep’s going on gay marriage? “You two agree….crap. On to foreign policy!”
4. Speaking of the moderator, did they scrape the bottom of the barrel with this one or what? She was more tongue-tied than Sarah Palin in an interview with Katie Couric.
5. But, by golly, Palin is adorable. Where can I get one to keep as a pet?
6. Thank you Joe Biden for saying “A maverick John McCain is not.” I didn’t catch his laundry list of reasons because he didn’t take a breath for a full minute and I think he went cross-eyed, but right on!
7. I’m not sure what is going on at the bottom of the screen but it appears to be an EKG of all male and female uncommitted Ohio voters. There’s no scale indicating what the lines mean but they’re pretty even and right down the middle, so I guess it means that the uncommitted Ohio voters don’t live in Cleveland.
8. I swear Palin twice said “Barack Obama and Senator O’Biden.” I swear.
9. I like how Palin dodges questions she can’t answer by talking about something unrelated and saying she just wants to talk honestly with Americans. I do feel like she is talking directly with me, and Sarah Palin, I will vote for you for Student Council President!
10. Joe Biden called Dick Cheney “the most dangerous vice president in America’s history” but failed to make a joke about how Chaney actually shot someone. Are those jokes not ok in debates?
11. The local “political expert” on the channel 13 news in Las Vegas said that he gave the win to Palin because “everyone thought she would totally screw up, and she didn’t.” (It must be fairly easy to be a political expert here.) That’s like saying Palin won because, well, at least she showed up! Who do I talk to in order to begin being judged by that standard?
12. Unrelated, but noteworthy: One game left til 101 years!!

Princess, you make yer Pop so proud: Acerbic political /entertainment commentary, a head shot at a talking head, and a body slam on the Wiggley Nation, all in one concise 12 step missive. Rockin'!