Monday, April 20, 2009

Commute Week, Part I

Like most of America, Mrs. PFOS and I suffer through a morning commute to earn our daily bread. Her drive to work is around 4 minutes if the stoplight is green. By comparison, my ride off to work can take a grueling 8, sometimes 10 minutes.

OK, our commuting lives, thru a series of events both fortunate and structured, are above average. My daughter has been commuting 1,900 miles each Monday for the last 7 months. She would be in the "below average" category in terms of being happy with her commute. While we're discussing it, yes, we're all among the fortunate to still be commuting to something during the Great Depression of the 00's. By the way, that is pronounced "oh-ohs", similar to "uh-oh", as in "I hope we've found the bottom before it gets to me".

So, as we begin "Commuting Week" here at NADM, I have chosen to address the problem that vexes most commuters: too many cars. Bear in mind, if you read NADM, you are OK. It is the other people out there, they are the ones who are driving the vehicles that constitute the "too many". Now, this issue of too many cars is a substantial one, with ramifications that are serious and far-reaching, affecting many, many people. I have therefore decided to consult the source to which I frequently turn when I am faced with issues of this magnitutde.

Ebay.

If I were the marketing person at Ebay, I would tell the world "All the answers are here. You just furnish the questions." In this case, the question is too many cars. Here is the answer.
.
Big Mac Portable Car Crusher Truck Auto Salvage Trailer

You are Bidding on a Portable Big Mac Car Crusher.
These Machines sell new for around $180,000.00+
 
Rebuilt Detroit Engine
Capable of crushing a car or truck down to 14”
Able to Crush Three to five scrap autos, with or without engines, into thirty-inch high bundles
 
The unit is in Nice Shape, The Cylinders were rebuilt last year.
The Crushing bed was completely rebuilt last summer and built heavier then factory, all work was done professionally by Greiner Industries.
Detroit engine was also rebuilt at the same time.
This machine is equipped with a controller box to add a remote for operating machine from loader, we do not have a remote with the crusher.
.
If you would like to pitch in on this, we will set it up on I-55 by the weigh station. We will put up a sign that says "FREE COFFEE AND" People are total suckers for coffee and. There will be a wall of fourteen inch steel bundles, and much more room on I-55, in a couple of days. Then we will move on to another highway.
You have problems, we have answers. Portable, very cool. Sorry about the missing remote.

2 comments:

Donnalicious said...

It would also come in handy when forced to sit at the same light as some kid who thinks he's cool driving a speaker on wheels. They're typically males between the ages of 18 and 25 who like to share their choice of "music" with the rest of the town that they're driving thru. Unless of course it is not their intention to share, they are actually legally deaf young men between the ages of 18 and 25 and the only way they can enjoy the same benefits from their stereo that the rest of us take for granted is by "feeling" the bass. If that's the case my original thought was discriminatory against the handicapped and I apologize.

PURPLE FLAG ON SATURDAY said...

No apology needed in this forum.

Acknowldgement of insensitivity works as a blanket "get out of judgement jail" card.

It's a first amendment thing.